Can You Be Seme in a Skirt?
by Rebecca the Great
Summary: CHAPTER 6b ADDED! (Party time!) Heero and Duo have a mission. One of them loses a bet... Obviously a cross-dressing fic. Give it a chance, ne? ^_^
1. I Feel Pretty

Author's Note: I have NO idea where this came from. Don't even ask, okay?  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing. Don't sue. OOC galore.   
  
FOREWORD: PLEASE READ!! I was rifling through the new fics the other day and saw a fic really similar to this one. I would just like to say that I AM NOT PLAGIARIZING THAT FIC. I started writing this in June, but RL complications, writer's block, and then FF.net's crash prevented me from putting it up sooner. I came up with this idea independently. Thanks, and enjoy the fic.  
  
  
  
  
Prologue: Mission Accepted  
  
  
  
They were the only two pilots at the safehouse, and had come very close to strangling each other over the past six days. They were waiting for a mission assignment, but in the meantime slowly driving each other nuts. Duo would babble on and on to fill up the maddening silence, and Heero would try his best to pretend his ears were stuffed with cotton so he could tune it out. Duo was being particularly annoying that evening, wanting to do something, ~anything~ to get his mind off of waiting for the mission. Heero's temper was frayed to the point of snapping. And Duo charged blindly onward.  
  
"C'mon, Heero! Just one game! I'll let you win the first hand!"  
  
"No."  
  
"It won't take long!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Plllleeeeeeeaaaaasssssssee?"  
  
"~No.~"  
  
"I'll stop bugging you for the rest of the night."  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"All right. One hand."  
  
"Yesssss!"  
  
"You ready?"  
  
Yeah. Okay, when I say shoot. One! Two! Three! Shoot!"  
  
Another short pause.  
  
"Whoooo-hooooooooo! Rock beats scissors! Yeehaw! I sooo rock! Hehehe! Get it, Heero? I ~rock~!"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"I can't believe you went with scissors!"  
  
"Shut. Up." Heero felt a nerve-throb coming on.  
  
"I mean, what a stupid thing to do! And you're supposed to be the tactician for this mission? Hey, that rhymed."  
  
"Duo." Yes, definitely a nerve-throb.  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
Heero held out his hand. Duo blinked at it in surprise, then a slow, creeping grin spread across his face.   
  
"Ohhhh, ~I~ see. You want a rematch, don't you?"  
  
"You weren't holding up your part of the bargain," Heero deadpanned. "If I win this one, you ~have~ to be absolutely silent for the rest of the night."  
  
"Mission accepted," Duo mocked Heero's oft-used phrase. "One! Two! Three! Shoot!"  
  
Heero's hand came out flat, while Duo's fingers split open. Heero frowned.  
  
"Oh yeah! That's two for two! I'm on a roll!" Duo did a small victory dance. "You want to go again?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"I'll take that for a yes."  
  
"Double or nothing."  
  
"What's in it for me?"  
  
"....."  
  
"I'm sure I'll think of ~something~..." Duo said airily, but with that promise, a certain form of dread crept up Heero's spine. But this was now a battle of honor, a battle of pride, and his only chance to get Duo to shut the hell up.  
  
Two hours later, Heero was no better off. Duo had won every single hand, even when Heero had, in desperation, given up the usual three signs for odd ones like "vulcan cannon" and "buster rifle."   
  
"I want a rematch. Double or nothing," he said, for at least the thousandth time that night. If he won, Duo may as well go join an abbey and take a vow of silence.  
  
"Hey man, don't you ever get tired of losing?" Duo teased, getting bored with the game.   
  
Heero glared at him. Then his laptop beeped. He bounded across the room to the desk and sat down.  
  
"Finally!" he muttered too low for Duo to hear as he opened the file from Dr. J.  
  
"Pilots Zero One and Zero Two: this is your mission," Dr. J's voice began, playing over the small speakers built into the laptop. "You must go to the Romafeller University for Free-thinkers. We have an informant there with data indispensable to our goal. She will contact you within a week of your arrival. When you have all the information, send it to the secured database and await further instructions. Do absolutely ~nothing~ to arouse suspicion while you are there. We cannot afford a mistake at this stage. J out."  
  
After a pause, Duo grinned.  
  
"Heh, just another infiltrate-the-school-and-get-the-info mission," he said. "This'll be a piece of cake. What's this university thing, O Heero Who Knows Everything About Romafeller?"  
  
"Romafeller University for Free-thinkers. Despite the name, it is actually a high school. This is where the nobles and upper-classes who are allied with Romafeller send their rebellious children. They are mostly well-born juvenile delinquents whose parents wouldn't put into a true reform school for fear of tarnishing their family reputation. But among those are also Sanq Kingdom and colony sympathizers that Romefeller wants to get rid of," Heero told him, sending confirmation of the orders as he did so.   
  
"Convenient, isn't it? Romafeller can get all the trouble-makers in one group for some mass brainwashing," Duo remarked, curling his lip at such underhanded tactics. Then he smiled sinisterly. "Our contact is a chick, ne?"  
  
"Apparently."   
  
As his back was turned to the braided boy, Heero did not see the devious grin. However, his unease rose when he heard the wicked chuckle.  
  
"Guess what, Heero, my friend. I know how you're going to pay off this enormous debt you owe me."  
  
Heero repressed a shudder. He had a bad feeling.  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 1: I Feel Pretty  
  
  
  
  
  
A looming, ominous feeling pervaded the safehouse the next morning. Duo was gone when Heero woke at dawn, which in itself was unnerving. Usually, he'd sleep till noon or so, if there wasn't a mission to attend to. And since the American had refused to give the slightest hint of what he was going to inflict upon Heero, the impending doom was that much more unbearable.   
  
Heero packed up their belongings while he waited for him to return. Anything to keep his mind off what might be coming. He knew from experience that Duo was an evil genius when it came to pranks and revenge. When they'd roomed together in the past, and Heero had done something or other that had upset him, he had been down right vindictive. Heero had learned the hard way (via forged notes from his "parents" for surprise venereal disease checks by the school physician) that NO ONE can eat Duo's pop tarts. He wondered what the little sadist had up his sleeve this time.  
  
* He better not be planning on setting me up with our contact. I already ~have~ a rich high-school chick stalking me. *  
  
Heero sighed philosophically. Maybe it was karma. He ~did~ kill people a lot; maybe this was the universe's way of punishing him. It occurred to him briefly that he could just refuse to honor the bet, since Duo had not honored ~his~ on that first hand. He really, really wanted to do so as well. But a prideful part of him would not let him back down. If nothing else, he would be a man of his word.  
  
"I'm hooooo~ooome!" came an energetic shout from the kitchen as Duo entered. He sauntered into the living room, where Heero was putting his laptop away. The long-haired pilot was loaded down with bags from various department stores.  
  
"Where were you all morning?" Heero asked, resigning himself to fate.  
  
"I went shopping for our new mission. Duh," Duo said with a grin. He dropped all the bags at once. "These are for you."  
  
Heero stood and eyed them dubiously for a moment. "All of them?"  
  
"Well, except for my school uniform, yeah. Aren't you going to look and see what they are?" Duo asked maliciously. "I spent nearly all the money I have on them."  
  
Heero glared at him. He marched stiffly forward and picked up the nearest bag. He reached inside, his hand closing on something... soft. And fuzzy. Hoping it wasn't roadkill or something equally gruesome, he pulled it out. And then blinked at it. It was... pink. Soft baby pink. And fuzzy. He shook it out. It was a girl's sweater. After a moment's puzzlement, he found himself wishing for roadkill. He swallowed hard and looked at Duo as understanding dawned. Duo beamed evilly at him.  
  
"You don't mean - "  
  
"I do."  
  
"But- anou... The mission. Dr. J said not to arouse suspicion -"  
  
"You'll just have to be careful then. And who knows, it might come in handy. If our contact is a chick, then you could become her close personal friend," Duo said knowingly. "Thus making it possible for her to talk to you in private without lots of speculation. And that would be within mission parameters."  
  
"....I don't look like a girl."  
  
"Sure you do!"  
  
Heero glared his deadliest.  
  
"I don't sound like a girl."  
  
"You can talk in a falsetto."  
  
" I don't act like a girl."   
  
"Bet there's plenty of tomboys at this university thing."  
  
"I'm ~not~ wearing this," Heero gestured with the hand holding the pink sweater.  
  
"Are you backing out on the bet, Heero?"  
  
"..."  
  
"You ~are~ a man of your word, aren't you?" Duo nettled, as if he knew what Heero had been thinking moments before.  
  
"...."  
  
"I'll get all our stuff into the jeep while you get ready," Duo said, going to the stack of supplies and picking up a box. He paused at the doorway to the kitchen. "Oh, by the way, there are some razors in that bag."  
  
"I don't shave."  
  
"You will. Some of those skirts are pretty short." Duo flounced out whistling gleefully, leaving Heero fuming and cursing under his breath.  
  
  
  
Half an hour later, Duo sat waiting outside the single bedroom of the small house, supremely smug. This was his best idea ~ever.~ Sweet revenge. ~No one~ ate his pop tarts, and Heero had taken a whole packet. This was only fair, two pranks for two tasty pastries. And this would be a masterpiece. He'd give up pranks for good afterward; he'd never be able to top this.  
  
"Hey Heero! Hurry up! We ~do~ have to get going today, you know," he said loudly. He was gloating. He knew it, and he was enjoying it!  
  
The door creaked open a crack and a wiry tan arm snaked around it, brandishing something very pink and very frilly.  
  
"What the hell is ~this?~"Heero demanded, his voice muffled through the door.  
  
Duo grinned.   
  
"They're called panties. You wear them under your skirt," he explained.  
  
"These aren't panties," Heero replied. "They're too... too... um..."  
  
"Lacey and frilly?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well, I had to find something suitably modest. I mean, in case of a sudden wind. We wouldn't want you endangering the mission with tighty whities, would we? Even normal panties would look a bit suspicious, considering. But the frills will hide just about anything."  
  
There was a pause as Heero absorbed this. The hand and the panties went back behind the door.  
  
"You've thought this out way too much, Duo."  
  
"Hey, ~you're~ the one that's always so thorough. How's it feel to get a taste of your own medicine?"  
  
The Japanese boy's only response was to slam the door. Duo smothered victorious maniacal laughter. After another ten minutes passed, Duo got impatient.  
  
"Heero, seriously. We have to get going."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"If you won't come out, I'll come in."  
  
"You come in and I'll kill you."  
  
"Oh you always say that,"Duo said, and pushed the door open. Then stopped dead in his tracks.  
  
The outside observer might've have thought that it was because there was a gun digging into his throat. But, while that in itself was a strong deterrent, that was not why he stopped. In front of him stood Heero. He was wearing a royal blue pleated skirt that came just past his knees, practical black loafers with neatly folded pale yellow socks. A matching pale yellow blouse was covered with a short royal blue uniform jacket. The Romafeller seal was embroidered in yellow thread on the left lapel of the jacket. Duo could tell Heero had put on the padded bra and falsies, and had to bit his lower lip. Heero was glaring his deadliest above it all, and withdrew the gun to cross his arms over his fake breasts.  
  
"Don't stare. It's rude," he snapped.  
  
At that, Duo couldn't help himself. He collapse on the floor, laughing until tears streamed out his eyes. He couldn't seem to stop. Several times he had almost calmed down enough to get up, but then he'd see Heero glowering down at him and it would just start all over. Finally, he was able to stop and catch his breath.  
  
"Oh God. My stomach hurts," he said, sitting up.   
  
"Hn."  
  
Duo cocked his head at him and looked closely at Heero's face. Heero was ~blushing!~ That nearly set him off again, but he clamped down on the laughter. There was work to be done.  
  
"You may look like a girl from the neck down, but you're face and hair are just too... Heero-ish. Where are the bags?" he asked, getting up. Heero gestured with the gun, and Duo got the bag he was looking for.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Make-up and hair thingies," Duo explained.  
  
Heero stared at him as if he had two heads. Then he sighed, shoulders drooping an almost invisible fraction of an inch.  
  
"Well, I've already gone ~this~ far," he muttered, emphasizing "this" by grabbing his falsies. Duo giggled a bit at that before he made Heero sit with his back to the mirror.   
  
"You don't get to look until I'm done," he told him.  
  
He had only a vague idea of how to apply make-up, but he supposed that it was probably more than Heero knew about it. And for his part, Heero was not twitching or making it any more difficult than it had to be. A resigned, long-suffering expression seemed glued to his face. Duo could almost pout at how well he seemed to be taking all of this. A masterpiece of torture like this was almost wasted entirely on the stone-faced pilot. But Duo knew that it was bothering Heero, even if the other boy was trying to play it cool. He smiled self-satisfiedly as he put the finishing touches of blush on Heero's cheeks.  
  
Heero grunted and began to turn to look in the mirror, but Duo pulled him back.   
  
"Ah-ah-ah!"He waggled a finger at him. "Still got to do your hair."  
  
The other boy gave him a withering look, and Duo grinned back, grabbing a handful of hair clips and a bottle of gel. He squirted a moderate amount into his hands and began applying it to Heero's hair, which was surprisingly soft.  
  
"Okay, we need to get our stories straight. You and I went to the same school and led a protest against Romafeller there. That's how we got expelled and sent to this university thing,"he said, as he stuck gold butterflies in Heero's hair. "And we're going to have to blend in here. No death threats to people who invite you places. We're probably going to have to circulate the social scene to find the informant. Once we do, you get the information while ~I~ make a distraction for the OZzies to follow. As soon as they're off our scent, we'll leave."  
  
"I thought ~I~ was going to be the tactician," Heero grumbled. "Are you done?"  
  
"~You~ were too busy shaving your legs. And yes, I am. Can you find a flaw in my plan?"  
  
Heero turned and peered into the mirror, surprised at what he saw. Instead of a toughened, battle-ready pilot was a pretty teenaged girl with charmingly tussled short hair, held in place by butterfly clips that went well with the yellow of the blouse and Romafeller seal. The royal blue jacket brought out startling blue eyes, lined with full blue-black lashes.   
  
I look soooooo stupid, Heero thought.  
  
"Aside from the unnecessary cross-dressing?"   
  
"Of course."  
  
"Then no, not really. But this," he said, gesturing to himself, "is a stupid risk."  
  
"Your objection has been noted. Remember, talk like a girl, walk like a girl, and for God's sake sit with your legs closed."  
  
  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED  
  
  
  
  
^______________^ I'm so eeeeeeeeeeeviiiiiiiiiiiillllll. It's great. ^___~  
  
Eros: I was thinking more along the lines of demented.  
  
Quiet you. I'm basking in the glow of my eeeeeeeeviiiiiiiiiiiiillllll. Meantime, make yourself useful. Beg for compliments or something.  
  
Eros: REEEEEEEVIIIIIIEEEEWWW!  
  



	2. Meet Hee-chan!

Author's Note: Thank you to those of you who gave feedback. ^_^ Here's part two!  
  
Thalia: Ahh, it's good to be back in action, isn't it?  
  
Eros: Yes, quite.  
  
Psyche: Can I add some stuff in too?  
  
Maybe in the later chapters, dearie. Right now it's humor and fluff. ^_~  
  
  
  
CHARACTERIZATION RANT (just opinions, so don't get uppity):  
  
Okay, let's get something cleared up, just for the record. I really am sick of all those Duo-inna-dress fics. I mean, it was cute the first couple times, but it got old fast. Especially because the cross-dressing archetype for Duo became more and more of a weakling uber-uke chick-man. Let me say this once: NONE OF THE G-BOYS ARE LIKE THAT.   
  
The G-boys are ~boys~ and all of them act like it. Just because in yaoi fanfiction they are gay does not mean they are drag queens. Not to disparage cross-dressers, or anything. ^^;; But truly, not even Quatre is so blatantly... umm... sissified. ^^;; There is no foundation in the series or the OAV for any of these off-base characterizations where Duo is essentially a chick (mentally and emotionally, at least) with big weepy eyes and Heero is a super-seme god whom Duo must worship.   
  
Don't get me wrong, 1x2 is great. Love it to death. But really, Duo isn't a complete uke type. Neither is Heero a complete seme type. They'd take turns, obviously. Each personality is too forceful ever to just give in, and the chemistry between the two is more that of competition than desperate needy obsessive love.  
  
Just my humble opinion, of course. You all can form your own theories. Anywho, this fic is meant to poke fun at all those Duo-uke fics, and... um... ....Uh... What was I talking about? Oh, never mind. On with the fic! ^_^  
  
  
  
  
DISCLAIMER: Don't own GW. So there. Nyah. :P Also, not quite as funny as the first one, but it's plot set-up. It'll get better in later parts. ^^;;  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Two: Infiltration  
  
  
  
  
Heero tried not to fidget self-consciously as the plump, stern-faced woman shuffled papers on her desk. He and Duo stood in the school office, a few feet in front of the large, mahogany monstrosity that the headmistress sat behind. The ride to the school had taken most of the afternoon, most of which Duo had spent coaching Heero on a suitable falsetto, and Heero had spent trying not to murder Duo and thereby endanger the mission. It had been a profound relief when they'd arrived at the huge university building. Though at the moment, he was finding the shuffling and tapping of papers as annoying as Duo's constant "well-meaning" advice on how to act more like a girl.   
  
* If only I could have found a place in this skirt for my gun... * he thought wistfully.  
  
"Ah, you two must be Mr. Yuy and Ms. Maxwell," the woman declared after a long while. "Welcome to R.U.F. I am Madam Gulverson, the Headmistress of this school. Did you have a good trip?"   
  
"Uh-huh," Duo said with boyish smile.   
  
"You mean, 'Yes, Madam Gulverson,'" the Headmistress corrected imperiously. "We are always polite, Mr. Yuy."  
  
"Yes, Madam Gulverson," Duo replied, almost serious, but Heero could hear the mocking tone underlying the phrase.  
  
* Baka. He's going to get in trouble right off the bat. *  
  
Fortunately, the Madam didn't seem to notice and nodded in satisfaction. "Very good, Mr. Yuy. But I have been going over both of your files. What I have seen I do not like one bit. I'm giving you two only one warning. None of that nonsense you pulled at your previous school will be tolerated here. We will not be so lenient as to merely expel you."  
  
"I understand, Madam Gulverson," Duo replied, still grinning.   
  
She stared coolly at him for a moment before she transferred her gaze to Heero, whom she looked up and down. The miserable pilot set his jaw and looked back sullenly. Duo glanced at him sidelong. Heero ignored him, vowing to exact his revenge later.  
  
"Ms. Maxwell, you've been very quiet. Have you any questions you'd like to ask?"  
  
"No, Madam Gulverson," Heero replied in his practiced girl's voice. Duo had called it a lower contralto, and had been adamant that Heero not try for a soprano. Heero hadn't been so inclined in the first place, but that didn't stop his bossy partner.  
  
"Very well. You may go out into the reception room to wait for your respective student guides. They'll accompany you to your classes and meals for the first three days, show you the ropes, that sort of thing. Your luggage has been taken up to your rooms from the taxi. If you're missing anything, let your Resident Advisor know. Your R.A. will also have all your schedules, room assignments, et cetera. You're excused," she said.  
  
As she'd spoken, she'd gotten out of her chair and backed them out of her office. The door shut in their faces. The two boys exchanged a glance. Duo grinned.  
  
"That went well," he said cheerfully. He lowered his voice conspiratorially. "I'd watch my back if I were you, though. It looked like she was checking you out."  
  
"~Nani?~" Heero hissed back in disbelief.  
  
A cough sounded behind them. Duo yelped and dove to hide behind Heero as the Japanese boy whirled around. In the middle of the waiting room stood a tall, handsome boy with red hair and freckles. He smiled, taking his hands out of his uniform pants.  
  
"Who're - " Heero began in his normal voice, but cut off when Duo elbowed him. He winced, though at his lapse and not from pain. He coughed unconvincingly before going on in his girl voice. "Who're you?"  
  
"Hi there. I'm James Mordell. I'm here to be Duo Yuy's student guide...?" he trailed off, peering over Heero's shoulder.  
  
"Huh?" Duo muttered, and realized that he was still cowering behind his partner. He sidled out and grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of his head with one hand. "Eheheh... Sorry 'bout that. You startled me. I'm Duo Yuy. Nice ta meetcha, James."  
  
Jim took Duo proffered right hand and shook it. "Call me Jim."  
  
"Okay, Jim. You can call me Mr. Yuy," Duo replied, drawing himself up to gaze down his nose in a near-perfect imitation of the Madam.  
  
Jim chuckled, but glanced warily at the door over Duo's shoulder. Then he flicked his gaze to Heero. His amused smile turned flirty as he looked Heero over.  
  
"I don't think we've been introduced," Jim said, coming to stand in front of the Japanese boy, his hand extended.  
  
"I"m Heero. Heero Maxwell," Heero told him awkwardly, not wanting to shake the freckled boy's hand. He never shook hands with anyone. Jim, though, had other ideas, and caught Heero's fingers and brought them to his lips for a kiss. Heero felt his eyes widen and he jerked his hand away.  
  
Heero and Duo both turned beet-red, the former from humiliation and the latter from holding in peals of laughter.   
  
* IamgoingtokillDuoIamgoingtokillDuoIamgoingtoKILLDuo * Heero thought violently.  
  
"Welcome to R.U.F.fie, Heero. We've got lots of pretty girls here; you'll fit right in," Jim said smoothly.  
  
"Whoa, there, Jimmy-boy," said a new girl as she came into the room. "It's really not fair for you to turn on the charm before the girl gets settled."  
  
The girl glided her graceful way over to Jim, who grinned playfully at her. She smiled back. She had very straight white teeth, and glistening black hair falling free around her shoulders. Her caramel-colored skin didn't go very well with the bright yellow and blue of the uniform, but she was stunning nonetheless. All three boys stared at her as she gently shoved Jim aside and looked down on Heero from her 5'9" frame.  
  
"Hi. You must be Heero. I'm Lucy Dawn. I'm your student guide," she said, putting a friendly arm around Heero's shoulders.   
  
Heero did ~not~ like to be touched, and fumed that he couldn't be his normal antisocial self and shrug her off. Duo had said they needed to get onto the social scene to find their informant, and Heero knew an 'in' when he saw one. If Lucy wasn't the queen of the school, then he would eat his gundam. He gritted his teeth and glared at Duo, who looked about to have an aneurysm.  
  
"Don't mind that lech over there," Lucy said, jerking her head in Jim's direction. "He's all talk. Let's leave him and his assignment alone and see if he gets on with ~him~ as well as with you."  
  
"What? Are you insinuating something, Lucy-chan?" Jim asked, mock offended.  
  
Lucy laughed. It was a pleasant sound, but it grated on Heero's nerves even so.   
  
"C'mon, Hee-chan," Lucy said, guiding the boy from the room.  
  
"See ya later, ~Hee-chan~!" Duo called after him.  
  
Heero nerve-throbbed.  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Three: Girl Talk  
  
  
  
Lucy indeed proved to be the bubbly, happy, and unintelligent princess of the school that Heero pegged her as. She introduced him to all the girls in her clique, not that he could remember all their names or match them to a face, and then took him on an extended tour of the school, grounds, and girls' dorms. While the information this provided was useful, Heero found his guide, and her entourage of fifteen or so girls even more bubbly and happy than she, insufferable. Hell, he'd rather talk to ~Duo~ than to them.   
  
"So, Hee-chan," began one of the generic females, "What was it like at your old school?"  
  
"It... wasn't bad," he replied. None of the girls seemed to notice his hesitancy, or if they did they merely put it down to shyness.  
  
"Did you have a ~boyfriend~?" Lucy asked.  
  
"No!" Heero said quickly, then realized that this vehement denial might be interpreted as suspicious. "I mean, uh... No, of course not."  
  
"Oooooh!" chorused about half the girls.  
  
"You know what that means!" an anonymous voice declared.  
  
"So, who was he, Hee-chan?"  
  
"Was he sexy?"  
  
"Was he rich?"  
  
"Did you break up?"  
  
"Was it that guy you showed up with?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Nani?!" Heero cried, barely remembering to keep his girl voice in his surprise.  
  
"Oooooooh!"  
  
"You know what that means!"  
  
"Are you still going out?"  
  
"Does he kiss good?"  
  
"How far have you let him get?"  
  
"We ~never~ went out to begin with!" Heero insisted, but he had the sinking feeling that it was doing very little good.  
  
"Ooooooh!"  
  
"You know what that means!"  
  
After another few group "ooooh"s, they finally drifted onto the subject of their own beaus, for which Heero was profoundly relieved. The idea, however natural it may have seemed to the girls, that he and Duo were "boyfriend and girlfriend" was just... weird. Awkward. So he didn't think about it, and listened instead as Lucy talked loudly in his ear about her ongoing romance with the captain of the football team. It was annoying, of course, but he ~had~ been living with Duo, after all. Anything else paled in comparison.  
  
A sudden thought struck him.  
  
"Where are we going?" he asked Lucy. They'd been walking for the past hour or so with no particular destination, and it was starting to bug him. He wanted to leave, even if it meant jeopardizing their chances of finding the informant. If he spent one more minute with these ditzes, he would be forced to kill them all.  
  
"The cafeteria," the girl responded. "It's dinner time in about fifteen minutes. Her Highness Madam Gulverson insists that we are always punctual."  
  
Heero noted her tone. It was the first time he'd heard her be sarcastic. The girl wasn't a completely good-hearted bit of fluff. The pilot found this strangely comforting.  
  
"Hey, we'll finally get to see the new guy then!" one of the feminine multitude realized aloud.  
  
"He might be a dog," another put in uncharitably.  
  
"He's not," Lucy said. She nudged Heero with an elbow. "Right, Heero-chan?"  
  
"Uh... right..." Heero agreed, thinking it was the easiest way to get them to stop bugging him.  
  
"Right, ~what~, Hee-chan?" asked a familiar voice said from nearby.   
  
Heero's head snapped up and spotted Duo and a large group of boys headed their way from a hallway to the left. Duo had apparently become very popular. He grinned at Heero, who glowered back and crossed his arms over his fake breasts.  
  
"Nothing," Heero said tonelessly.  
  
"Heero-chan was just agreeing with me that you're not a dog," Lucy said.  
  
The girls and guys all giggled as Heero felt the blush he'd been struggling with break through. Duo smirked and raised an eyebrow at him. He glared defiantly and raised one shoulder in a dismissive gesture.  
  
"Glad to hear it," Duo said, then mock bowed, offering his elbow to Heero. In an affected courtly tone he asked, "My lady, may I escort you to dinner?"  
  
The mass of their peers tittered with laughter again. Heero stood dumbfounded for a minute. Then he realized it was just another one of Duo's ploys to embarrass him. He straightened his back and his shoulders, oblivious to the way this made his falsies more prominent. The male audience was suddenly drooling. But Heero was oblivious of that as well, having a staring contest with his supposed trustworthy partner.  
  
"C'mon. I need to talk to you," Duo cajoled, which made everyone start whispering speculatively.  
  
* IwillkillhimIwillkillhimIwillkillhim * was the current litany in his mind. But he caught the message. Duo had found out something and needed him to know. * But I will give him a taste of his own medicine. *  
  
"Hai," he agreed, then stepped forward to slide his arm through Duo's.  
  
"OOOOOOooooooooohhh!" chorused the whole mob of teenagers.  
  
"Hee-chan and Duo, sittin' inna tree!" came a raucous male cat-call.  
  
"Kay Eye Ess Ess Eye En Gee!" a group of girls added.  
  
"Aw, knock it off, you guys," Duo called over his shoulder as he and Heero began to walk away from the group.  
  
"Do you know where you're going?" Heero asked quietly, feeling odd about the whole situation as it was.  
  
"Heero, look who you're asking. Have you ever known me ~not~ to make it a point to find the food first?"  
  
"Hn. Baka."  
  
"Yeah, I know. Have you found her yet?" Duo asked.  
  
"No. Have you been contacted?"   
  
"No. I've been busy with finding the underground party scene," Duo answered. "It's pretty big here. If what these guys have all been telling me is true, most of the school is involved in them. We're both invited to the next party. I think we should go."  
  
"Why is that necessary? The informant should know who we are. It should be easy for her to contact us. I don't understand the need to go through all this trouble to find ~her~."  
  
"You don't get it. It would look really suspicious if the chick just came and found us. I think she must be pretty new here, too, or else she'd be as braindead as all these people. I bet she's in one of the less accepted cliques, and is waiting for the right time to make her move. And what better time to do it than at a huge gathering where no one knows where everyone is, who they're with, or what they're doing?" Duo explained quietly. "The party is the best time to do something and have it go unnoticed."  
  
Heero frowned deeply. He liked this whole situation less and less.   
  
"All right. I only have one thing to say, then."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"This information had better be pretty damn valuable."  
  
Duo threw his head back and laughed.  
  
"But you know something? You're pretty popular with the guys, Heero," Duo said slyly.  
  
"Shut up, Duo. Or you won't need to ~fake~ a falsetto."  
  
Duo chortled at this. "Look, I'm just warning you. This way, if you get hit on, it won't be a surprise. Though I'm hoping the guys'll back off now."  
  
"Why's that?" Heero asked suspiciously, hoping the reason wasn't what he thought it was.  
  
"Well, when they see me and "Hee-chan,"as you're affectionately known, together, they'll think we're a couple," Duo replied calmly.  
  
"I've just spent the entire afternoon denying that," Heero said flatly, his fears confirmed. He didn't even want to think of the ramifications of upholding such a charade.   
  
"Look, I'm doing you a favor. Unless you actually ~wanted~ the attentions of those morons back there," Duo said with a derisive snort.  
  
"I don't need any favors from ~you,~ Duo. You're the one that got me into this," Heero snapped.  
  
"Yeah, I know. It's fun watching you squirm," Duo confided deviously as they entered the brightly lit cafeteria.  
  
The only thing that saved Duo from a mean right hook was Lucy suddenly glomping onto Heero's other arm.  
  
"Heeeee-chaaaan! Come sit with meeeeee!"  
  
"Talk to you later, Hee-chan," Duo said, releasing him. He gave the braided boy his most withering glare as Lucy dragged him off to a table full of idiot girls.  
  
  
  
  
* Grrrrrr........ * thought Heero as he undressed in his room that night. (Fortunately, he'd had the presence of mind to alter the school mainframe so he'd get the only single room on the floor he was staying on. This would make things a bit more simple.) He picked the butterfly clips from his hair and ran his fingers through the crispy strands, trying to make it go back to normal. After a while he gave up.  
  
He was very glad of a little privacy and silence. At least here he could lock the door and unwind by putting on his good old pair of spandex shorts and his green tank top. He'd had to pack them in a seperate duffle bag and, in turn, hide it inside another duffle bag to keep Duo from confiscating them. The boy was dead set and determined that Heero not have ~any~ normal clothes for the duration of the mission.  
  
* But * thought Heero smugly as he unzipped the small duffle bag * I've outsmarted him this time. *  
  
The duffle opened, and Heero froze. A single tiny fly buzzed out of it. Desperately, Heero picked up the bag and shook it upside-down. A bit of paper was all that fell from it. Heero dropped the bag and snatched the paper from the air before it floated to bed.  
  
It read:  
  
"Naughty, naughty! That's cheating, Hee-chan! You have to find a better place to hide things.   
  
Yours truly,  
Duo"  
  
Heero shredded it into tiny little bits, pretending it was Duo's face.   
  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED!  
  
  
  
  
Bwahaha! ^_^ I Luuuuuuv bein' evil! Just for future reference, most of the dialogue of the girls was taken from RL conversations I've overheard on school busses, in study halls, and at basketball games. I kid you not.  
  
Psyche: Frightening, isn't it?  
  
Eros: ::shivers:: Quite.  
  
Thalia: REEEEEEVVVIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!  
  
  



	3. Frustrations of Womanhood

Author's Note: Bit of a change of style this part. ^^;; Is it any good? It's still fluff, no angst...  
  
Psyche: Ahem.  
  
...Yet... ^^;;  
  
Thalia: I'm still in control. ^_______^  
  
Eros: When do I come in?  
  
Umm.... I dunno yet. Prolly about the same time as my dear, dear angst muse.  
  
Psyche: Flattery won't get you anywhere. Just start writing.  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own GWing. Surprising, ne?  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Four: In Which Heero Faces the Frustrations of Womanhood and Avoids Spandex  
  
  
  
  
Heero woke with the dawn, as he usually did. He yawned tiredly, though. He'd had a difficult time sleeping. The nightie he wore was too... frilly, as most of the clothes Duo had gotten for him were wont to be.   
  
* Bet he did it on purpose, just to piss me off. * he thought darkly, rubbing his sleep-pasty eyes.  
  
It's short, puffy sleeves chafed his upper arms, and the lace on the cuffs and collar itched. He also had to were a bra and the falsies under it, which was very strange indeed. But as tempting as it had been to just sleep nude rather than were the annoying pink thing, the risk of someone bursting in on him was too great of risk. He was fairly sure that there would be no hazing among girls like Lucy and her friends, but he wasn't ~completely~ certain. Even the locked door hadn't eased his mind. All in all, he was surprised at how twenty-four hours of cross-dressing could make a guy so paranoid.  
  
He got out of bed and stumbled across the orange patch of morning sunlight on the floor to his dresser. He pulled a uniform and new frilly panties from it, along with a pink canvas bag full of girly shower supplies and a towel. He'd bet all the girls would still be asleep. It was the best time for him to sneak a quick shower. He scrubbed at his face again. Why did it feel so crusty and weird?  
  
He glanced at himself in the small mirror over his dresser as he took a step towards the door. Then he froze and looked again.   
  
His eyes blinked from circular smears too dark to be natural. The subtle lipstick Duo had applied the night before was streaked as well, and worn off in places. The blush was no where to be seen. Heero looked back at his pillow to see telltale rouge marks coloring it. And as if all that wasn't bad enough, his hair was sticking out like porcupine quills. He tried running his fingers through the brown mess, but it pricked his fingers and he gave up.  
  
* I ~really~ hope no one sees me like this. * he thought, frowning as he unlocked his door and crept out into the hall. The dorm was silent as he walked to the bathroom and showers at the other end of the hall. No one stirred from their rooms, and Heero let out a silent sigh of relief when he got into the bathroom.   
  
He stripped quickly, then hid the panties, bra, and falsies in the uniform. Then he turned on a shower to full blast. Soon he was scrubbing himself with a poofy thing that was lathered in apple-smelling shower gel. He washed his gel-slimy hair with girly-smelling shampoo, and then washed his face under the stream of water. His fingers were pruned when he finally got out. After he dried himself and quickly dressed, he crept back into his room.  
  
Now, he had to apply make-up. And fix his hair. He frowned at his reflection in the mirror.  
  
* Can't be harder than rewiring Wing's cockpit. * he thought as he dug make-up out of the pink canvas bag.  
  
Half an hour and a whole box of kleenexes later, Heero found himself reconsidering. He decided to leave the make-up for now, and move on to the hair. He resisted the urge to wrinkle his nose at the smell and feel of the gel as he rubbed it on his freshly clean hair.   
  
* Okay. Think tussled.... Now, how did these butterfly things fit? *  
  
He had better luck in this area, and sighed in relief when his hair was finally up in a reasonable replica of yesterday's style. But about the make-up...  
  
He contemplated the brand-new pink lipstick. He narrowed his eyes and pulled his lips flat. He began to trace his lips with the stick, as carefully and meticulously as if he was diffusing a bomb. There. He mooshed his lips together, then looked at his reflection. He sighed in relief again. It looked fine. Mascara and blush went on without a hassle after that, and he was practically glowing with pride before he remembered that he wasn't supposed to care whether or not he was a convincing girl.  
  
By now he could hear the girls in the hallway, and he organized his room, getting all the textbooks the R.A. had left next to his schedule. He had mostly classes with butchered words for names. Phy Ed. Home Ec. He also had a speech class. What fun. His belly growled before he could really get into his brooding mood, and he decided to go see if breakfast was ready. He slung his disgustingly pink, plastic bookbag over his shoulders and ventured out into the hallway.  
  
He should have known better. Lucy and several others had apparently been camped out in front of his door, and they glomped onto him from all sides. He did not like this, but weighted down as he was, there was very little he could do. They stayed glued to him until they sat at their table in the cafeteria, and by that time he was sure there was a large black storm cloud over his head. To make matters worse, he didn't see Duo in the lunch room and therefore had no way to escape the cloying mass of girls.  
  
"Lucy... chan," he gritted out, "What is first period class again?"  
  
"Home Ec! It's really fun! We get to cook things!" the perky girl replied happily, taking another bite of her muffin.  
  
"Aa..."  
  
"This week we're learning how to use a microwave," a red-haired girl on his other side said.  
  
"Just don't be like Karlie. She left her fork in the dish and exploded the microwave," a brunette across from him teased the girl next to her.  
  
"Hey!" Karlie protested.  
  
Heero just nodded or "hn"ed as delicately as he could, trying to tune them out as he searched the sea of faces for Duo. Maybe the baka had something to report, or maybe Heero could just get him to rescue him from the clutches of these idiots. The Wing pilot was starting to sympathize with Wufei's views on women.  
  
Unfortunately, Duo did not materialize as he had last night. Before Heero knew it, he was being hustled into an elevator and up to the fifth floor. Lucy clung to him like a limpet, guiding him to her kitchen area, which she apparently shared with two other girls. To the disdain of Lucy and the others, a group of unlikely-looking boys leered at them from the kitchenette next to theirs. Heero felt a little perverse relief that not all of the school was so sickeningly clean-cut as the girls and the boys he'd met last night. These boys were obviously trying hard to look like delinquents, their uniforms wrinkled, untidy, with the shirts not tucked in or even buttoned all the way. They even wore their school-issue sunvisors backwards and upside-down in a way that they obviously considered to be "stylin'".  
  
"Hey, girl," said a smarmy blond boy. He leered directly at Heero. "You wanna go someplace private?"  
  
Heero glared at him full force. The boy quailed, but recovered quickly.   
  
"So, can I take that as a yes?"  
  
"Shut up, Kent," snapped Lucy. "Heero isn't interested."  
  
"How 'bout you let Hee-chan speak for herself?"  
  
"GUTEN MORGEN, CLASS!"   
  
Heero resisted the urge to drop prone and draw his gun, which he didn't have anyway. Instead he turned to the front of the classroom. A vast woman with a very red face and very red hair stood in an immaculate white chef's uniform complete with a tall white hat. She had a long-handled wooden spoon tucked under her armpit like a riding crop. The class instantly stood at military-like attention, even the wannabe-ganstas.  
  
"TODAY, ve continue vith ZE MICROVAVE LESSONS!" she continued in a thick German accent. "But BEFORE ve SCHTART, zere vill be schome CHANGES vith ze KITCHEN ARRANGEMENTS!"  
  
"This is Ms. Hausfrou," Lucy whispered, her lips barely moving. Heero gave a minute nod, afraid that even silent communication was forbidden during this formidable woman's class.  
  
"To AVOID another pressure-cooker INCIDENT like YESCHTERDAY, ze BOYS vill be mixed vith ze GIRLS. No hijinx vill be tolerated!" Ms. Hausfrou brandished her wooden spoon at the class. "GIRLS, I am EK-SCHPECTING you to CONTROL ze BOYS in your group as if zey vere your SCHLAVES!"  
  
Heero half-expected everyone to chorus "Jahwohl!"  
  
"MIX GROUPS! NOW!" the huge German woman bellowed. "SCHNELL!"  
  
There was a flurry of movement as the students dashed to different kitchenettes. Heero didn't move, and wasn't surprised to see that the boy who'd propositioned him and another bad-boy type joined Lucy and him as the other girls left. Kent sidled up to Heero, looking very sleazy indeed.   
  
"Hey baby," he said quietly as Ms. Hausfrou screamed directions. "Did it hurt?"  
  
Heero, having heard Duo make fun of guys for using this line, didn't dignify that with an answer. If he didn't reply, then maybe the dirtbag would leave him alone.  
  
"Did what hurt?" Lucy asked, falling for it. The Japanese boy sighed exasperatedly.  
  
"When she fell from Heaven." Kent beamed at Heero, who turned to examine the cookbook. Kent leaned over and put his hands on it. "What's the matter, baby? You shy? Don't worry, I don't bite. At first."  
  
Heero gave him a withering glance and considered his options. Violence would attract to much attention, and land him in trouble besides. He wanted to be as unnoticed and unremembered as possible. So he opted for the most civilized - and most ineffective - way.  
  
"Let go of my book. Now," he said in the tone that could freeze even Duo in his tracks. Unfortunately, he hadn't taken the falsetto factor into consideration. He sounded - shudder - ~flirty~.  
  
Thus encouraged, nothing he did for the rest of the hour could deter Kent. Heero was ~this~ close to punching the guy's teeth down his throat, mission be damned, by the time the bell rang. Kent blew in his ear before he left with Lucy. Heero clenched his jaw and glared poisonously at the boy. Lucy dragged him away, though, before he could inflict damage upon the offending boy.  
  
"Phy Ed. is next! Guess what we're doing!" Lucy commanded, dragging him outside and across campus to the gym building.   
  
"... Fencing?" Heero guessed off the top of his head.  
  
"Nope. Guess again."  
  
"Basketball?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"I give up."  
  
"We're learning ballet! Even the boys!" Lucy giggled, blushing a little. "It'll be fun to see the boys in those spandex leotards!"  
  
Heero felt nostalgia rise in him when she mentioned the spandex, but then the rest of what she said had an impact. Ballet? Leotards? Panic squashed the nostalgia. He could ~not~ afford to wear a leotard; it left ~nothing~ to the imagination, and he really couldn't afford that. Not with certain... protruding bits... How could he get out of this?  
  
He was about to go up to his room and type up a note from his "parents" when Lucy grabbed his arm and waved.  
  
"Mr. Ehli! I want you to meet Heero Maxwell!" she called to a tall, balding man just coming out of the building.  
  
"Heero?" Mr. Ehli asked, his eyebrows raising. "Ah! I've been waiting for you. I got you're parent's message."  
  
"Nani?" Heero asked, surprised. Had Duo taken care of this for him? "I mean, you did?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm so sorry to hear about... your special condition," he said vaguely, glancing at Lucy, who was puzzled as well.   
  
The pilot felt his heart beat faster. Certainly, Duo hadn't told him the actual "special condition". Had he?  
  
"And... that's all right with you?" Heero asked uncertainly.  
  
"Oh yes. I used to have the same problem when I was younger. Came from hanging out with cheerleaders. I'd just eye those pretty skirts and - well, never mind," he said, grinning. "Anywho, there's study hall in room 214. Go on up."  
  
"Oh, how unfair! You won't get to see Duo-kun wrapped up in spandex! I bet he's got a great body," Lucy commented as soon as Mr. Ehli had gone back inside the building.  
  
Against his will, his mind supplied an image of Duo in a leotard. He shook his head to clear it; it was too weird.  
  
"Er - yeah. I have to get to class," he told Lucy.  
  
"Right. See you later, Hee-chan!" the girl smiled and bounced through the doors.  
  
Left alone, he resisted the urge to wilt. He was already dead tired of this game, and the wind was ruffling his skirt dangerously high. Wind felt strange on his shaven legs, as did most materials now, like his skin was as sensitive as a baby's. He turned to go - and promptly ran smack into someone he hadn't heard come up behind him. He pulled back sharply to retain his balance, but his backpack, heavy with books, tipped him over. He fell to the pavement, his skirt flying up and his bookbag unzipping to scatter papers and books across the ground.  
  
"Itai," he murmured unhappily.  
  
"Well well, look what we have here," the boy he'd run into said, smiling sinisterly. "Jumpy today, Hee-chan?"  
  
"Shut up," Heero grumbled, ignoring the hand the American held out to help him up. He glared up at him. "What was in the note to Mr. Ehli?"  
  
Duo looked innocent. "Noooothiiiiiing."  
  
"Duo."  
  
"Only that you have mono. Sheesh. What do you think I put in there?" Duo said defensively. "I'm not stupid, you know."  
  
Heero frowned, thinking of his conversation with the gym teacher. * So when he was talking about skirts he meant girls, not actual skirts. * he reasoned to himself. * At least, I ~hope~ that's what he meant... *  
  
"So anyway, since we're supposed to be dating, I think we should eat lunch together. We'll talk about... our plans then, okay?" Duo said, bending to start picking up papers and books.  
  
Heero suddenly was aware of just how much of his legs were exposed. He fought down a blush and rearranged it before he got up and began shoving his books into his bag. He wordlessly took the papers from Duo and, with a quick nod of thanks, sped off toward the main building.  
  
Duo watched him go with a confused look on his face. Then he shrugged, and went into the gym to face the horrible doom of ballet and spandex.  
  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED!  
  
  
  
  
Oh, poor poor Heero. Will his trials never cease?  
  
Thalia: Not if ~I~ have a say in it!  
  
Eros: I wanna write mush!  
  
Psyche: I wanna write angst!  
  
All in good time, dearies. And for any readers who care, I ~am~ going to have a plot. Maybe. Sooner or later. ^^;;  
  
Eros: RRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! 


	4. Passing Notes, Caught in a Closet, and A...

Author's Note: Gomen nasai! I would've had this finished sooner, but RL does have a way of delaying me. ^^;; Sorry for the long wait -   
  
Psyche: Yeah. Like a whole lot of people were ~waiting.~  
  
Quiet, you! Let me have my delusions of grandeur! Anyhow, this chapter contains more fun with Heero-chan! ^_^ A smidgen of plot emerges... hopefully... if you look REALLY REALLY hard for it...  
  
Thalia: Not likely. I won't allow it. Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!!  
  
Eros: You can tell she's serious; she used six exclamation points there.  
  
SEX AND DRUGS referred to in this part. ^^;;;;;;;;; It's high school, for cryin' out loud!   
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own GW. :p   
  
  
  
  
Chapter Five: Passing Notes, Caught in a Closet, and a Surprise Present  
  
  
  
  
  
Duo propped his head up on his fist, leaning slightly forward in his desk. His eyes glazed over. A week of normal classes had gone by with no sign of the supposed informant. He was getting both bored and restless. Even the diversion Heero provided was starting to get old, and his classes were childishly easy after the rigorous training by Professor G. As it was, he had no homework to keep him busy, so he was reading ahead in his chemistry book about various explosive chemical reactions. Even so, he was hard-pressed not to fall asleep.  
  
* Study hall is sooooooo boring... * he thought, trying to keep his eyes open. The teacher supervising was Ms. Hausfrau, and she did not take kindly to students dozing off. It was a losing battle, though, and Duo felt his consciousness get a bit fuzzy.  
  
A timely poke in the back snapped him fully alert. He flicked a cautious glance at Ms. Hausfrau. The woman was busy with a massive cookbook, paying no attention whatsoever to the class. Duo half-turned in his seat to look over his shoulder where his room-mate and "best friend" was sitting. The boy was an absolute idiot. Almost everyone at R.U.F. - they called themselves "Ruffies" in an attempt at school spirit - strove to be a model student and citizen, but Kent and his clique were enamored of the idea that they were "bad." Unfortunately, Duo couldn't tell him where to stick it because he was their link to R.U.F.'s seedy underbelly, and thus to the party.  
  
Kent grinned and held out a folded bit of paper. Duo took the paper. His hopes rose. Maybe their contact was trying to get in touch with them at last. Feigning nonchalance to hide both his eagerness from Kent and the act of reading a note from Ms. Hausfrau, he turned forward in his desk and tilted his book up as if getting a better look at something. He silently unfolded the paper.   
  
He was disappointed when the note was only from Kent himself. It read:  
  
"How far you got with Hee-chan?"  
  
Duo resisted choking, but just barely. He also resisted the urge to turn around and choke Kent and was less successful. He turned again, to give his "friend" a questioning look. Kent leered. Duo snorted softly and faced front again. As a point of male pride, he couldn't just say he hadn't gotten ~anywhere~ with his girlfriend (never mind the fact that Heero wasn't a girl), nor could he say it was none of Kent's business. But he never lied, so how could he answer this?  
  
* Well, he never specified that "how far" was a sexual reference. * Duo grinned to himself. * I've been all over the world with Heero. I'd have to say we've gone pretty far. *  
  
He wrote down that last thought and sneakily handed the note back to Kent, who poked him a moment later. The note was once again in his possession.  
  
"Does she give good head?"  
  
Duo did choke then, and quickly disguised it with a coughing fit. Ms. Hausfrau glared at him until he stopped, but did not get up. He heard Kent snicker behind him and felt a flush creep up his face.  
  
* Does ~Heero~ give good head? * Duo repeated in his head, totally thrown for a loop. Sure, he'd been pretending to be "Hee-chan's" boyfriend, but he hadn't even ~considered~ the actually acts that would entail, had it been real. Heero giving head... Duo blushed even more darkly, trying to ignore the image it brought to mind.  
  
* To hell with male pride. * he thought desperately.  
  
"None of your business, dude," he wrote, and waited for Ms. Hausfrau to get more caught up in her cookbook before passing it back to Kent. The other boy made a derisive noise in the back of his throat, soft enough not to be noticed by anyone more than a few feet away.  
  
"So she's a tease." Kent wrote back a moment later. "Figgers. Girls that hot are always teases or lesbos."  
  
"Yeah," Duo scribbled quickly.  
  
"At the party we can hook up wit' sum babes who know how to put out good," Kent promised in his unintelligent scrawl.  
  
Before Duo had to think of a response to that, the bell rang loudly. Duo shoved the note between the pages of his chemistry book and then put the book in his bag. Kent followed him as he went for the door.  
  
"So, you ready for the party?" the smarmy blond asked.  
  
"Hell yeah," Duo replied, grinning with practiced ease.  
  
"Hee-chan coming with?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You two be at the water fountain next to the boys' bathroom on the third floor tomorrow night at eleven forty-five. I'll meetcha there and take you to the party," Kent said.  
  
"Why can't you just tell me where the party is?" Duo asked as nonchalantly as he could. He didn't like having to depend on this loser so much, especially after that embarrassing note.  
  
"You wouldn't know how to find it, even if you knew where it was. That's how come the teachers don't break it up or nothing," Kent explained with an air of superiority.  
  
Duo raised an eyebrow at that. Did that mean the party would be on-campus? That was unusual, even for boarding schools. At least, it was for all the other schools he'd been at. The more he stayed at R.U.F., though, the more he realized how different it was. Despite what he'd told Heero about waiting for the party, Duo was getting nervous about the lack of contact from the informant. He didn't like the situation any more than Heero. Well, maybe a ~little~ more than Heero, he mused, grinning slightly.   
  
What bothered him was that each and every one of the teenagers here was a Romafeller stooge. It was odd, because while he had expected them to be brainwashed, he hadn't expected it to be this bad. These were supposed to be the students who were unbreakable by other schools, who were so firm in their anti-OZ sentiments they had been expelled. They should be rebellious and jaded, not goody-two-shoes and sickeningly perfect students. The school ~was~ brimming with propaganda, but so were most of the schools nowadays. How come these students were so much more effected?  
  
Duo chewed his lower lip thoughtfully. What was this school doing to everyone? And, more importantly, would it effect Heero and himself?  
  
"Hey! Earth to Duo!" Kent said loudly in his ear. "Duo! Are you receiving?"  
  
"Geeze, you don't have to shout," Duo grumbled, rubbing the offended orifice. He was more upset at himself, though, because he shouldn't have zoned out like that. "What is it?"  
  
Kent snickered. "Any special beverage requests? Don't be scared ta ask. Our dealer's got everything."  
  
"Nah, it's your party. Get what you like," Duo said with a shrug. "Look, I gotta get to class. See you later."  
  
"Later," Kent said, and skulked off into another hallway.   
  
The braided pilot turned to go to his next class when a hand shot out from a storage closet and latched onto him. He meeped in surprise as he was dragged into the closet, and he grabbed the door for leverage. It swung shut instead, and the movement threw him off balance as well as put the inside of the closet into pitch darkness. He dropped his backpack as he attempted to regain stability, but he fell forward anyway. He careened into a figure about his height, which grunted softly. They both toppled up against the wall of the small closet.  
  
  
  
  
Heero hadn't expected Duo to be so surprised as to attack him, and the breath was knocked from him when he thudded up against the wall. Duo pressed heavily against him as he gasped to regain his breath.  
  
"What the hell? Who are you?" Duo demanded, sounding upset.  
  
"It's - me," Heero ground out in his real voice.  
  
"Heero?" Duo asked, his voice changing to surprised. "What is it?"  
  
"You were - supposed - to meet me - during - lunch to - discuss mission progress," Heero managed.  
  
"Oh yeah! The ~meeting~!" Duo said loudly. He laughed nervously. "Well, y'see, uh... I kinda, well, uh, forgot."  
  
"Hn. Baka."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, heard it all before. Anyhow, it's not really important. The informant hasn't contacted me. Have you heard anything from the Docs? We weren't misinformed or anything, were we?"  
  
"Dr. J hasn't contacted me since we received our mission. As for misinformation, who can say? The informant hasn't made herself known to me, either," Heero informed him.  
  
"Well, if she doesn't show her face at the party, we're getting the hell outta here. I don't care if it's against orders. This place makes me jumpy," Duo said quietly, shifting a bit. His breath brushed across Heero's neck, reminding the Japanese boy that he was smooshed between Duo and a wall. He felt a traitorous blush creeping up his face.  
  
"Duo, step ba-" he began, but the door snapped opened and bathed the closet with light.  
  
"Hee-chan, I know you're in he- " Lucy broke off as Duo flinched away from Heero. "Anou... Um... Gomen..."  
  
Duo chuckled nervously again. He was blushing deeply in the light from the hall. He scratched the back of his head with one hand. "It's okay! We were just - uh - catching up. Right, Heero-chan?"  
  
"Eh? I mean, uh, hai. Catching up," Heero agreed in his falsetto, feeling his face get even more heated. Lucy was grinning smugly as she watched both straighten their uniforms, which had been rumpled in the fight. Heero wished he could disappear.  
  
"Well, I have to get to class now, so bye!" Duo said, snatching his bookbag from where it'd had fallen. Lucy backed away hastily to let him bolt out the door.  
  
As soon as he was gone, Lucy turned to look at Heero with an insinuating smile. She raised her eyebrows rapidly. "Catching up?"  
  
He looked at the floor and shrugged, hating his luck and - more specifically - Duo. The baka was always putting him in these embarrassing situations. He conveniently forgot that ~he~ was the one who'd dragged Duo into the closet in the first place.  
  
"Let's just go," he muttered.  
  
"Right. Hey, is that your chem book?" Lucy asked, noticing said object on the floor near the door and pointing.  
  
"No," Heero said, stooping to pick it up. He opened the cover to see Duo's name printed neatly on the list of previous owners. "It's Duo's. It must have fallen out of his bag when I - "  
  
Heero broke off when Lucy leered daintily at him. He flushed again and stuck the book in his own pink plastic bag to give back to Duo later.  
  
"Anywho," Lucy said as they started off down the hall. "We should hurry. We're missing the sex ed video."  
  
"Nani?" Heero asked, taken by surprise.  
  
"Yeah, they show it every year. It's really funny! Mr. Jinger gets really red and gives us a big speech about being mature about the subject, then plugs in this video we have to watch," the girl explained, giggling between words. "Come on! We're going to be late!"  
  
  
  
  
Later on, Heero understood exactly ~why~ Mr. Jinger, a short bald man, would turn vermillion from the top of his cranium to his chubby neck. It was not ~just~ a sex-ed video, it was geared for girls alone. Why they didn't have Ms. Hausfrau show it was beyond Heero. As it was, he now knew more about menstruation than he'd ever felt necessary.  
  
"Why do they bother with this?" a girl behind him asked her neighbor. "It's not like we've never did guys before."  
  
"Yeah. They ~should~ be showing us the proper techniques," the other girl whispered back, and the two giggled inanely. "Except then Mr. Jinger shouldn't be the teacher."  
  
"Ewww! Gross!"  
  
"It should be some hot guy."  
  
"Like Duo!"  
  
Heero kept from gasping in startlement by clenching his teeth so hard it hurt.   
  
"Imagine going down on Duo..." one of the girls sighed.  
  
Heero felt his face, already pink-tinged from watching the video, grow even darker. He very deliberately tuned out, refusing to hear more of the mortifying conversation. Lucy, who sat beside him, watched his face curiously, glanced fleetingly at the girls behind them, then leered again. She nudged Heero with an elbow, which startled him out of his reverie.  
  
"Was that what you and Duo were doing in the closet?" she whispered, too low for anyone else to hear.  
  
Heero's eyes widened comically, and he made a noise that sounded suspiciously like "meep". He vigorously shook his head. Lucy merely gloated. If her assumption had been incorrect, it wouldn't have distressed her new friend so much. Heero, for his part, merely gave up, put his head down on the desk, and nervethrobbed for the rest of the class.  
  
  
  
That evening, dinner was hell. Lucy valiantly kept the pilots' rendezvous a secret for a whole two hours, but her inclination for gossip eventually won out. When Duo entered the cafeteria, the boys all stood up and applauded. Heero tried his hardest to self-destruct by will-power alone, which was unfortunately fruitless. The girls fairly swarmed around him, wanting to know ~every~ detail of his and Duo's supposed tryst.  
  
"Nothing happened, really," he insisted.  
  
"Oooooooh!"  
  
"You know what that means!"  
  
Heero nervethrobbed and almost decked everyone within a two yard radius. Just then, Lucy put a friendly arm around his shoulders, thus preventing any retaliation.  
  
"Hee-chan isn't the type to kiss and tell," Lucy declared. She leaned forward and twisted so she could see his face. "Isn't that right, Hee-chan?"  
  
For a moment, Heero was almost very grateful to the girl for finding a way for him to avoid the topic. Then she beeped his nose. That was the last straw!  
  
Without a word, he stood up, shrugging Lucy off. She waved her arms to retain her balance, and stared after him, along with the rest of the table of girls.  
  
"Hee-chan?" she asked, surprised.  
  
He didn't respond and cleared his tray, then marched up to his dorm room. Once safely inside, he locked the door and sagged against it. Today had been much too stressful, and for him to admit being stressed - even just to himself - was saying quite a lot. He took the barrettes from his hair, and peeled his uniform jacket off. He was about to collapse on his bed when he noticed a white box on it.   
  
Annoyed at himself for not seeing it sooner, Heero picked it up suspiciously. Encouraged when it did not immediately explode, he opened it. After a quick and thorough inspection, it proved to contain nothing more than a discman, headphones, a CD, and a short scribbled note.  
  
"Don't fall asleep without these on and keep it playing all night. I'll meet you tomorrow night at the party," read the scrap of paper in sloppy, hurried writing.  
  
Relief spilled through him. The informant had finally made contact. He'd have to tell Duo first thing in the morning. Right now, however, he was eager to just go to sleep. Then he reread the first sentence of the note and frowned in confusion. Why would he have to listen to a CD in his sleep? What was on this CD, anyway? It had no label, only a brand-name on top. It was a burned copy, not an original.  
  
He put it in the discman, slipped the headphones on, and pushed play. A low, a capella voice began to sing in English.  
  
"I'm not the one who's so far away / when I feel the snakebite enter my veins / never did I want to be here again / and I don't remember why I came."  
  
Heero skipped to the next song. This time he was greeted with a symphony swelling. Suddenly, it was only a snare drum and a guitar picking out a simple tune.  
  
"Time is never time at all / you can never ever leave / without leaving a piece of youth," sang a slightly nasal tenor. "And our lives are forever changed / you will never be the same / the more you change the less you feel."  
  
Heero frowned at that, feeling the lyric resonate more than it should. He skipped the CD ahead again. This one was more upbeat and light-hearted, and a girl was the lead singer.  
  
"You're no rock'n'roll fun / like a party that's over before it's begun / you're no walk in the park / more like a shot in the dark / with clues left for no one!"  
  
The CD went on like that, twenty-three songs that varied immensely in style, from Celtic harp and techno to hard rock and sappy love songs. Heero decided that whoever chose them was smoking something stronger than nicotine. He glared at the discman, wondering what would happen if he didn't do as the note said. What was the reason for this?  
  
After wracking his brains for a few moments he still couldn't think of anything and gave up. The informant probably had a reason, and he'd ask for it when he met her tomorrow night. In the meantime, he resigned himself to a night of unrest. He changed into a frilly lavender nightgown and climbed into bed, knowing it was really too early to be so tired and not caring. He set the CD to repeat and pulled his headphones on again.  
  
" - In the arms of the angel / may you find / some comfort here," were the last words he was conscious of hearing.  
  
  
  
  
TBC!  
  
  
  
  
Hehehe. ^_^ Couldn't resist describing the CD. I love all those songs! If anyone can name the bands, I'll give you a chocolate-covered Heero!  
  
Heero: O_O;;;  
  
Thalia: Yummy! ^_^  
  
Eros: REEEEEEEEVVVIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWW!!!!! 


	5. Impending Doom, Ballet, and Heero on the...

Author's Note: Well, here it is. Sorry for the long break between updates, I'm a stupid spaz who had writer's block forever.  
  
Psyche: Well, that and you were watching Gravitation fansubs...  
  
Mmmm... Gravitation.... ::drrrroooooolllll:: Love that shounen ai! ^_^  
  
Psyche: Don't we all?  
  
Thalia: Kiddies beware! Sexuality in this! Thanks to hentai Eros. If it wasn't for the fact that he has a girlfriend, I'd suspect him of liking yaoi...  
  
Eros: ...Er... ^^;;;; No comment.  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own GW. So sue me. Oh, wait. I meant, ~don't~ sue me.  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Five: Impending Doom  
  
  
  
  
  
Bright cobalt blue eyes peered through tousled dark brown hair. Lips met, tangled with tongues, mouths worked heatedly against one another. Hands roamed everywhere, clothes suddenly became lost, and there was a hot ache building in his groin -  
  
  
  
Beeeeep! Beeeeep! Beeeeep!  
  
"Ack!" Duo shouted, leaping to his feet instantly. Unfortunately, he was tangled in sheets. He fell flat on his face at the foot of his bed.  
  
Kent sat up more leisurely with a yawn and a stretch. He reached over to his night stand and shut off the alarm's shrill beeping, then peered down to where Duo lay in a twitching heap.  
  
"Mornin' Duo," he said. "Rough night?"  
  
Duo came to his senses and sat up, craning his neck to aim a withering glance at Kent. Then he turned his glare on the world in general as he stood and disentangled himself from the bedclothes. He had a bad feeling that today was going to be weird. Not that normal days for him could be considered normal at all, but still he had a sense of dread about this day. He wondered why that was.  
  
Obliging him for once, his mind supplied him with a reason. He felt a look of horror form on his face. No. He hadn't just had a naughty dream about his partner. It just wasn't possible. His subconscious seemed to find these denials amusing, because it began to replay the most intense parts of the dream in slow motion, emphasizing every detail. Duo felt himself flush from head to toe.   
  
* Oh. My. God. * he thought.   
  
Kent watched disinterestedly as his new roommate got to his feet and bolted out the door and into the bathroom. He heard the shower turn on a few moments later. He got dressed in the same clothes he'd worn yesterday, not even bothering to come his hair. By the time he was ready, Duo was back in the room, dripping wet, still in his tanktop and boxers, and shivering. Kent raised an eyebrow and leered.  
  
"One of ~those~ dreams, huh?" he asked knowingly. "Was it about Heero-chan and a closet?"  
  
"Shut up, dude. Just shut up," Duo replied, peeling his sodden tanktop off.  
  
  
  
Heero was having a different sort of morning. Despite his doubts about the CD, he'd slept like a log. He'd barely gotten to the shower before the other girls had woken up. Luckily, he managed to sneak back into his room without being noticed. Unfortunately, as he was locking the door behind him, he heard a cough behind him. Alarmed, he whirled. Lucy stood next to his bed in a burgundy terry-cloth bathrobe, her hair a mess, and her face unadorned with make-up. As she blinked sleepily at him, she looked much younger and more naive than Heero had ever seen her before.  
  
"Lucy-chan! What are you doing here?" he demanded.  
  
Lucy bit her lip and looked at the ground. "I - I wanted to apologize," she said in a small voice.  
  
Heero blinked, then recalled the previous night. "Ah... anou..."  
  
"I'm sorry I told everyone about you and Duo in the closet. I don't know why I did; I guess I just wasn't thinking or something, and I hope you don't hate me now, but you probably do, so if you want to stop being friends I'll understand, but I had to tell you this because I couldn't fall asleep last night because I felt so bad and - and - " Lucy paused in her babble to look into his eyes, her own brimming with tears. Heero was taken by complete surprise when she glomped him around the neck.  
  
"I'M SO SOOOOOORRRRRYYYYYYYY!!!!" Lucy wailed in his ear, then broke into sobs.  
  
The pilot panicked. Situations like these had never been discussed in training sessions. What was he supposed to do? Was he supposed to forgive her? Comfort her? What?  
  
"Er - there, there," he said uncomfortably, awkwardly patting her back with one hand. "It's okay."  
  
Abruptly, the wails cut short. Lucy pulled away to look down at her short companion, tears still spilling from her eyes. "Honto ni?"  
  
"Ah.. hai," Heero replied, relieved that she'd let go of him.  
  
The respite was short-lived, however, for Lucy tackled him in a glomp once more.  
  
"Yokatta! Yokatta ne!" she cried, jumping up and down in her exuberance. Heero was taken along for the ride and was a little dazed when the girl finally calmed.  
  
"Let me get dressed and we'll go down to breakfast together," Lucy caroled, letting go of Heero so suddenly that he fell to the floor. Lucy, oblivious, pranced out of the room, humming some annoying pop tune. Heero shut and locked the door behind her, then leaned against it. He didn't know how much more of this he could take.  
  
He did his hair and make-up much more quickly than he had the first few days he'd masqueraded as female, and then set to work organizing his bookbag. He found a chemistry book in it, and remembered that it'd fallen from Duo's bag yesterday. He'd have a perfectly reasonable excuse to talk to Duo now, and no one would assume it was for sordid purposes. At least, he hoped they wouldn't.  
  
As he shoved it back in his bag, a bit of paper fell out. Curious, he picked it up and looked at it. He recognized Duo's handwriting, though he didn't know the other person's, and was horrified at the content. Duo was bragging about "how far" he'd gotten with him!  
  
"Teme..." he breathed, then shoved the note back in the book.  
  
How ~dare~ he? Wasn't this situation bad ~enough~? Not only was he supposedly a girl, now he was a ~slut~ as well. And did Duo actually think he ~would~ do things like "give head"? Whatever that was. Obviously, his partner didn't take this mission seriously at all. It was just a chance to mess with his, Heero's, head.  
  
Heero stuffed the book in his bookbag just as a knock sounded on his door.   
  
"Hee-chan, you ready?" Lucy's voice asked.  
  
"Hai," Heero replied, slinging the bag over his shoulder and exiting the room. He'd deal with this right away.  
  
  
  
Duo poked at his breakfast, then sighed. "I'm just not hungry today," he said sadly.  
  
The other boys at the table fell over. Not just at this unlikely declaration, but at the fact that it came ~after~ Duo had already eaten three helpings of eggs, bacon, and pancakes.  
  
"Why's that, Duo-kun?" Jim asked, recovering first.  
  
"I dunno. I'm just... spacey today. Or something," Duo answered vaguely. He propped his head up on his fist and sighed. The real reason was that he couldn't get over his mortification his unnerving dream had brought on. How could he face Heero without thinking about it now?  
  
"You're acting it. I'd ask if something was wrong with your sex life, but I thought things were going - ahem! - ~well~ with Heero-chan," Jim implied, wriggling his eyebrows.  
  
"Hn," Duo said noncommittally, unknowingly imitating Heero.  
  
"Speaking of Heero, she's heading this way," Kent said, gesturing with his spoon.  
  
Duo looked up. Heero was indeed approaching, the look in his eyes spelling DOOM. Duo sweatdropped and tried to sink under the table. What had he done wrong ~this~ time?  
  
"Duo-kun," Heero said in a voice that was almost a growl, even ~with~ the falsetto. Duo froze mid-sink, sweatdropping even more. Then he popped up with a grin.  
  
"Ahaha! Ohayo, Hee-chan!" he called cheerfully, though in a somewhat strained way.  
  
"I need to talk with you. In private."  
  
"Oooooooh!" the table of boys chorused, banging on plates and glasses as Duo stood up nervously.  
  
"H-hai," Duo agreed.  
  
They walked side by side out of the cafeteria, the student body cheering them on. Duo followed his fellow pilot with building dread. Finally, Heero stepped into an empty classroom and closed the door after Duo.   
  
"Well?" Duo asked, sitting in the teacher's chair and putting his arms behind his head. "What's up?"  
  
"I found your chemistry book yesterday. You dropped it in the closet," Heero said in his normal tone, shrugging his backpack off to open it and hand the book in question to the American.  
  
"Oh. Thanks," Duo said.  
  
"I also found the note," Heero went on, not looking at him.  
  
"Note? What no- " the braided boy stopped, remembering. He flushed deeply. "Oh. Um. Well then."  
  
"I think this has gone on for long enough. It is getting ridiculous. We are attracting way too much attention," Heero said flatly. "Therefore, as of today we are no longer a "couple." You will not talk to me for the rest of the mission, except for mission-related details."  
  
"Heero, I think you're over-reacting here. I didn't mean what you think I meant in that note - " Duo protested, but Heero cut him off.  
  
"Last night I received confirmation from the informant that she will be at the party tonight. I will rendezvous with her there. You, however, have to start working on your diversion to get OZ's attention away from us. Don't contact me until 0300 hours tomorrow morning. I should have the information by then," Heero finished.   
  
Then he was gone, before Duo could even utter an objection to his plan.  
  
"Well, shit," Duo muttered, looking down at his chemistry book, which sat on the teacher's desk. "I've really fucked this up, haven't I?"  
  
The book offered no consolation.  
  
  
  
  
Heero arrived at the Home Ec. room barely in time for class. He joined Lucy in their kitchenette. Kent sat beside him and leered. Heero ignored him, not in the mood to put up with his crap today. Lucy looked at him suspiciously, and was about to ask where he'd been when the teacher stood up.  
  
"TODAY, class, ve vill be making MICROVAVE BROWNIES!" Ms. Hausfrau began, then stopped and glared at the back of the room. "You are LATE!"  
  
Everyone turned to see who she addressed. A short, chunky girl with stringy dyed-black hair and a rumpled uniform stood just inside the door. Her face was marked with acne, and she had a year's supply of make-up caked on each eye. She glared poisonously at the room in general.  
  
"Sorry, Ms. Hausfrau," she said, her voice high-pitched and incongruous with her appearance.  
  
"Find a kitchen und PAY ATTENTION!"  
  
The new girl slouched her way to the kitchenette that Heero occupied, which happened to be the only one with an open space. She stood in the far corner, arms crossed in front of her chest, not greeting anyone. Ms. Hausfrau went on, describing the recipe and giving instructions. Everyone began to make the batter, and Heero took the time to examine the new arrival out of the corner of his eye.   
  
"Her name is Makoko," Lucy whispered as she noticed Heero's regard. "She's really weird."  
  
"So she's not new?"  
  
"No, she was in the infirmary for two weeks. She slit her wrists," Lucy explained. "I feel sorry for her, but she doesn't ~want~ to be friends. We all tried when she first got here."  
  
"Figures ~we~ get stuck with the psycho bitch," Kent grumbled under his breath. "She's so queer. I'd watch my back if I were you, Hee-chan, Lucy-chan. She just might molest you."  
  
Heero and Lucy caught each other's glance. Lucy rolled her eyes and shook her head. They all put on their aprons. Makoko helped without talking, but Kent hung back to give her the hairy eyeball most of the time. She ignored him, and Heero felt a sort of kinship with her. She was a fellow anti-social person, forced into a social situation and all the idiots that entailed. He made an effort not to glare at her.  
  
"Koko-chan," Lucy said, uncharacteristically timid, "Could you please hand me the spatula?"  
  
Makoko frowned. "Don't call me Koko-chan. My name is Makoko."  
  
"Gomen, Makoko," Lucy said, shooting Heero a look that said 'See what I mean?'.  
  
Makoko handed her the spatula, and she began scraping the batter into the square glass pan. Kent volunteered to put the brownies in the microwave while the others got to work cleaning up.  
  
"Just don't blow up the microwave," Lucy said distrustfully.  
  
"I wouldn't dream of it, sugarlips," Kent said with a leer. Lucy glared at him, as did Heero. Makoko didn't even spare him a glance.  
  
The brownies baked in the microwave while everyone in class washed dishes and put ingredients away. Kent watched their group's pan like a hawk, not budging to help. Lucy, understandable irritated, was about to call Ms. Hausfrau over just for spite when the bell rang. Ken volunteered to stay until the brownies were finished. Though suspicious, the two girls and Heero didn't object.  
  
"Oh, guess what, Hee-chan!" Lucy squealed suddenly in the hallway. "My gym class had finished putting together the ballet we were working on. We're performing it for the whole school this period! Isn't that cool?"  
  
"Hai, Lucy-chan," Heero said dutifully.  
  
"I have to go change into my costume. Go to the auditorium and find a spot close to the stage, okay?" Lucy said, smiling. "Ja ne!"  
  
"Ja."  
  
The tall dark-skinned beauty glided away, and Heero kept walking. On his way to the auditorium, which was on the first floor of the main building, the loudspeakers in the classrooms all announced the ballet and excused the classes. The hall flooded with students, so Heero hurried ahead of them all into the auditorium.  
  
He made his way to the middle of the third row of the auditorium. The first two were already filled with the more perverted students who wanted to peak up the girls' tutus or get an eyeful of the male physique encased in spandex. He heard eager whispers of both boys and girls as he sat down, and hoped people didn't think he was sitting there for a cheap thrill.   
  
The music began, and the girls of the gym class tottered unstably onto the stage on slippered tip-toes. Lucy, glowing in a pink body suit and wispy tutu, was easily the most graceful, dancing fluidly while the others struggled to maintain their balance. The dance was simple, rather boring, and not at all well-executed. Finally, they froze in place, and the boys came on stage. The audience tittered with suppressed mirth at the un-manly body suits and tights. The gangly, chunky, and awkward boys tripped over themselves self-consciously. Only one was doing anything with grace, and to Heero's amazement, it was Duo.  
  
The American had always had a prowling sort of grace, like that of a tiger on the hunt. The dance translated that to a slightly less predatory style. His leaps and pirouettes didn't look corny or silly because he had an aura of power, of masculinity. Girls in front of and around Heero were cooing softly, and a few had begun fanning themselves with their hands. He snorted softly. they were bakas. So what if Duo could prance around on stage like a sissy? So what if every so often he sent a casual, cocky, and somehow seductive look towards the audience? So what if you could see every contour of his body in spandex?  
  
Suddenly, he found himself looking directly into wide indigo eyes. Duo smirked a little, his eyebrow quirking slightly. Heero suddenly flushed, realizing he'd been gawking like an idiot and broke the eye contact. He was supposed to be angry at Duo, not encouraging his attention-getting behavior.  
  
The boys froze in place as the girls had, but Duo kept dancing. Lucy slipped over to him, and they began to dance together. It made several girls coo again, but most turned to look at Heero to see what his reaction would be. He merely crossed his arms and tried to look neutral. Duo had his hands on Lucy's hips as they bounded across the stage together, Duo lifting her up on the jumps. The leaps ended by Duo throwing Lucy high into the air. Lucy spun rapidly three times before Duo caught her and lifted her up on his shoulder. The audience clapped and cheered.  
  
The other boys and girls paired up and tried to the same sequence, but with less success and even less flamboyant endings. Then the "ballet" was over, and the class bowed as the rest of student body clapped half-heartedly. Then they each bowed in the pairs they had danced in. Needless to say, Duo and Lucy received the most cheers. Heero didn't clap at all until he saw Lucy give him a hurt look.  
  
After that, Heero didn't see Lucy until lunch, and she was anxious about how he'd react to her dance with Duo.  
  
"You're not mad at me, are you? I mean, we didn't ~plan~ on dancing together or anything. Mr. Ehli said since we were the best that we should dance with each other. It's not like I want to take him away from you or anything," she babbled as Heero picked at his rice.  
  
"It's all right. I'm not mad. And you can't take Duo away from me, because he's not mine," he said calmly. Lucy dropped her chopsticks.  
  
"What?!" she cried, drawing the attention of the entire table.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
Heero sighed, knowing what was going to come next. "I said, he's not mine. We aren't going out anymore. So I really don't care if anyone ~else~ wants to go out with him."  
  
"Ooooooooh!!" the collective exclaimed.  
  
"You know what that means!"  
  
Heero nervethrobbed. Lucy blinked at him puzzledly.  
  
"He's mine!"  
  
"No way, he likes ~me~ better!"  
  
"Uh-uh! He told me in fifth period that he liked me!"  
  
"Uso! He said he liked your hair. It's not the same thing!"  
  
The whole table was soon arguing about the matter. Heero and Lucy decided it was prudent to leave before they were drawn into a cat-fight. For the rest of the day, Lucy fretted over Heero, trying to get him to tell her "how she ~really~ felt about breaking up." Each time, Heero had to tell her he was fine, that it had been ~his~ idea. She always nodded, but Heero could tell she was just humoring him and didn't really believe a word he said.  
  
By dinner, the entire school was abuzz with the news of the break-up. And, much to Heero's chagrin, boys were practically lining up to ask him out. He hadn't realized that so many guys were waiting for the chance to go out with him, and almost regretted telling everyone that he and Duo were no more. At least having the lie of a relationship kept these desperate souls at bay.  
  
His patience was wearing painfully thin. How did girls put up with the stupid pick-up lines and passe compliments? Every single boy in the school wanted to sit next to Heero during the meal.  
  
"Hee-chan, is this seat taken?" asked one suitor.  
  
"Yeah, it is. By me," said another.  
  
"Oh no you don't," a third barged in, pushing both of the others aside. It was Kent. Heero resisted a groan as he began to talk. "So, Hee-chan, I heard you ditched Duo. Smart move. Don't get me wrong. Duo's a good guy, but, well, let's just say he ~dances really well~ if you get my drift."  
  
Heero stared at him, uncomprehending. Lucy, sitting on Heero's other side, glowered over her short companions head.  
  
"Kent, that is the lamest way to call someone gay that I have ever heard," she said distinctly. Heero choked.  
  
"G-gay?" he asked. "Duo? I don't think so"  
  
"Yeah," Lucy agreed. "You ~would~ be the one to know."  
  
Heero blushed at what that implied. "Uh... yeah..."  
  
"Anywho," Kent went on, as if this little exchange had never occurred, "I suppose now this means that you have no-one to take you to the party tonight."  
  
"I'm not going with you," Heero said bluntly. "I won't go with anyone."  
  
"That's right. Heero Maxwell, independent woman," Lucy agreed. "I'll go stag tonight, too, to keep you company."  
  
"Thanks," Heero told her, a little puzzled at the gesture.  
  
"Well, at least let me take you to the party to make sure you get there," Kent offered.  
  
The refusal was on the tip of Heero's tongue when the girls that were swarming at Duo's table all giggled loudly at once. Duo had apparently told some sort of joke. And then, something in Heero resonated angrily.   
  
"All right," he heard his falsetto say, then had to blink a few times for it to register. Both Lucy and Kent were staring at him in surprise.   
  
* Oh, shit. * Heero thought, putting his head in his hands. * What have I done? *  
  
"Great!" Kent declared happily. "I'll come by your room at eleven tonight!"  
  
As if he was afraid if he stayed any longer, Heero would change his mind, Kent got up and left joyfully. Lucy watched him go, then turned sad eyes on Heero.  
  
"You must really be upset if - " she began, but Heero waved a hand to get her to shut up.  
  
"I know. You don't have to say it."  
  
  
  
  
TBC...  
  
  
  
Okay, that didn't really explain anything, did it?  
  
Thalia: Nope!  
  
Oh well. At least the next chapter is the party chapter.  
  
Thalia: Finally!  
  
Eros: Isn't that the scene you had in mind when you started writing this fic?  
  
Yep! ^____^  
  
Eros: Reeeeeeeevvvvviiiiiiieeeeeewwww!!!!  
  



	6. Party Night (a)

Author's Note: This is the whole reason I started to write the fic. Pretty dumb, ne?  
  
Psyche: Yes, I think so.  
  
Eros: ~I~ don't.  
  
Psyche: Figures. You're the one who gave her the inspiration for this fic.  
  
Thalia: Hey! What about meeee? I've done ~all~ the work this far!  
  
Yeah yeah, whatever. Let's just get going already! I wanna write the party scene!  
  
Psyche: Don't whinge on like that; it's annoying.  
  
Thalia: Kiddies beware! Sexuality in this! Thanks to hentai Eros. If it wasn't for the fact that he has a girlfriend, I'd suspect him of liking yaoi...  
  
Eros: ...Er... ^^;;;; No comment.  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own GW. So sue me. Oh, wait. I meant, ~don't~ sue me.  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Five, Part One: Party Night (Ha! Get it?)   
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Hee-chan? You nearly ready?" Lucy called from outside. Heero wondered at her lack of subtly; if she talked that loudly, certainly the R.A. would hear and come to see what they were getting ready for.  
  
"Just a second!" he called back, pulling on his bra and falsies, then the pink fuzzy sweater. Then he opened the door to admit Lucy.  
  
The caramel-skinned girl entered wearing a ~very~ tight, ~very~ revealing red dress. She looked him over and frowned.  
  
"You're wearing ~that~?" she asked, nonplussed.  
  
"Yeah," Heero answered. "Why?"  
  
"It's just so... um... not sexy," Lucy said, figeting under Heero's glare. "I mean, it's cute, but... It's not ~party~ clothes."  
  
"I don't have anything else," Heero replied stoically.  
  
Lucy's brow furrowed delicately, and she bit her painted-red lower lip as she thought. Then she grinned suddenly.  
  
"I know! I'll give you a make-over! Come on, it'll be ~fun~!" she said, already hauling Heero into the hall and over to her room. Heero, growing accustomed to being dragged here and there by the forcible girl, simply stood in her doorway. Her room-mate was no where to be seen, for which Heero was grateful. She excavated her closet, tossing out garment after garment as she dug deeper and deeper inside it.  
  
"No, no - too pink - no, no, no, maybe, no, no, no, no - Hey! I was looking for this last Friday! - " Lucy mumbled under her breath. Finally, she cried, "Perfect!"  
  
She emerged with a smile and handed Heero a bundle of clothes and a pair af huge chunky black shoes. Heero eyed the whole pile suspiciously.  
  
"Go change and then come back so I can do your make-up!" Lucy told him, giggling as she spun him around and shoved him into the hallway. The door shut behind him with finality.  
  
"K'so," he muttered and dragged his feet back into his room. He shut and locked the door, then dropped the shoes to examine the clothes.  
  
He held a stretchy black miniskirt and a black baby-tee - which said "FBI: Frequent Boy Inspector" in sparkly gold letters - in one hand, which alone were enough to make him want to bolt. In the other hand was apparently some sort of torture device with straps and nets and bands. He contemplated it for a moment before realizing it was a garter belt with black fishnet stockings attached. He quickly threw it to the floor and resisted the urge to stomp on it. He backed away from it slowly as if it would bite.  
  
Instead, he took off his sweater and his girly jeans. He pressed his lips together and forced himself to put the miniskirt and shirt on. Lucy was a good head taller than he, so the skirt wasn't too short after all. But for some reason, the t-shirt only went down to a few inches above his belly button. He looked at himself in the full-length mirror on the back of his door. The skirt was ~definitely~ too tight; the ruffles and frills on his horrible panties marred the smoothness of the cloth. He debated what to do. If he took off his panties, he wouldn't have anything to wear ~under~ the skirt. Unacceptible. But he couldn't wear them and be seen in public. Even ~he~ had his limits of humiliation.  
  
He found his eye wandering unwillingly to the garter belt. Sure enough, it came attached to a pair a black silk panties as well as the stockings.  
  
* Well, shit. * he thought with a heavy sigh. He took off the skirt and atrocious panties and struggled into the garter belt apparatus. The fishnets felt very odd. To make matters worse, he discovered when he put the skirt back on that it was split on both sides up to mid-thigh. When he walked, the straps that held up the stockings were displayed for all to see. He slid his feet into the shoes, which made him about three inches taller.  
  
* How can women stand being put on display so much? * he wondered uncomfortably as he glared at his reflection. At least his spandex actually ~covered~ his skin; this stuff just slid around it, exposing more skin than it concealed. Dreading the moment Duo would see him, he exited his room again and went to Lucy's. The girl squealed in delight when she saw him.  
  
"You'll blow 'em away, Hee-chan! Duo won't know what hit him!" she declared, shoving Heero over to her bed. "Sit down and I'll do your make-up!"  
  
He really didn't have any time to protest, because she pounced on him with blush and mascera. Then she fiddled with his hair until it refused to have anything to do with her comb. It reverted back into it's accustomed free-form messiness. Surprisingly, Lucy crowed in triumph.  
  
"Hee-chan! It's so - so ~you~!" she said proudly.  
  
Heero tripped in the huge shoes when the tall girl tried to haul him to the door. She frowned, and demanded to know why he hadn't said the shoes were too big before she pulled another pair out of her friend's closet. Heero put them on, and they fit perfectly, plus they were nearly flat so he wouldn't lose his balance. Lucy smiled and towed him into the hall.  
  
Kent stood in the hall outside Heero's room, obviously waiting to pick them up. He looked twice as sloppy and wannabe-gansta-ish than he did during the school day, with unattractively messy hair and baggy jeans that were pulled down so low Heero wondered what the point was. He leered at them and shuffled over. Lucy gave him a disdainful look.  
  
"You ready to go?" he asked, ignoring her.  
  
"Yeah," Heero said. "I guess."  
  
"Let's go!"   
  
After about a half an hour of following Kent through the convoluted hallways under the school, Heero found himself in the heart of a party. Music throbbed through several interconnected rooms, the base heavy and the words - what there were of them in the peppy techno - nearly unintelligible. The whole student body of the school writhed in the dim illimination of all sorts of christmas lights, black lights, and disco-ball reflections. The sounds and smells of too many people into too small a space swirled around them. He unconciously stepped closer to Lucy, though whether from the instinct to protect or be protected, he didn't know.  
  
Lucy grinned down at him encouragingly. "Come on! Let's get some drinks!"  
  
  
  
  
  
Duo was having fun at the party in spite of himself. He danced on the crowded floor of the largest and central room amid other sweaty boys and girls. The happy, almost sugary techno music had a butt-moving rhythm that just could not be denied. Still, he kept an eye on the entrance to see if Heero was going to show up. Kent had come into the room bragging that ~he~ was taking not only Heero but Lucy as well. Knowing what a shithead Kent was, Duo didn't take him at his word.   
  
After a few songs, though, Duo was winded and hot, so he took a break to go get something to drink. Jimmy and a few other boys stood around the kegs of beer arguing whether girls' tits or asses were more sexy. Duo gulped a cup of the foamy beverage and tried to get into the debate, but he couldn't concentrate very well. Ever since his dream last night, he couldn't help but notice that he never really considered girls as sexual partners. He hadn't fantisized over guys, either, though. So why did he have that hot and heavy dream about Heero?  
  
The other boys fell into sudden silence and Duo looked over his shoulder towards the entrance. And did a double take. Kent, Lucy and Heero had arrived. Heero looked like he'd met Dr. Frank-N-Furter and lived to tell about it. Dark kohl accented his eyes, fishnet stockings elongated his thin, strong legs, and his bare navel was a pale strip against the black of his clothes. Duo swallowed hard.   
  
"Ooooooh-hhhooooo-hoooooooo!!" Jimmy and the other boys howled in unison. "Look what you're missing!" They elbowed Duo in the ribs. Duo, realizing he'd been staring open-mouthed at Heero, quickly looked away and felt his face flush darkly. It was going to be a long night.  
  
  
  
  
Lucy pulled a reluctant Heero over the the kegs and demanded two big cups of beer. Jim and Kent rushed to fill the order. Kent thrust an over-full cup at Heero, who managed to dodge the spill that followed.  
  
"~Duu~uude~!" several guys said at once. "Watch the beer!"  
  
"Well ~sorry~! Geeze," Kent grumbled.   
  
Lucy saw this as a perfect time to escape the clutches of Kent. She dragged Heero away while their erstwhile guide got his deserving ass chewed out by irate partiers.  
  
"You look kinda overwhelmed, Hee-chan," she said, pulling him towards the huge speakers and ducking behind them. Here they were shielded from the eyes of the dancing throng and the people by the kegs; also, the music was somewhat quieter. "Maybe you should wait here for a bit and get adjusted. I'll go and see if there's anything fun for us to do in any of the other rooms. Just settle back and relax, I'll be back in a few minutes."  
  
Before Heero had a chance to object, she left.  
  
For a while, Heero just stood there, not knowing what to do. Already the pounding beat was giving him a headache. He looked for a place to sit and couldn't find one. He considered the floor, but it was covered with... stuff. He wasn't sure what it was, exactly, but he wasn't going to risk sitting in it.  
  
"Hey," said a depressingly familiar voice. Heero looked to his left to see Kent offering something wrapped in a napkin. The blond smiled in what he obviously thought was a seductive way. "I brought you some refreshments."  
  
"Er - thank you," Heero said, taking the napkin. He peeled the top layer off to reveal a large, sticky brownie. "Anou..."  
  
"Try it. It won't kill you, you know. After all, you helped bake it in Home Ec. this morning," Kent said, pouting a bit.  
  
Heero considered. What would be the socially acceptable response to this situation? It didn't seem like he could get out of it without either eating the brownie, which he really didn't want to do, or hurting Kent's feelings, which he really didn't care about. The choice seemed so easy. But... Duo ~had~ been ragging on him all mission to be more social. Not that he cared what Duo thought, just that the braided boy did have a point about not screwing up their mission by being anti-social. Right. That was it.   
  
Therefore, there was only one - disgusting - choice.  
  
He held his breath as he choked down the chunky chocolate square. Kent watched with eager eyes.   
  
* A little ~too~ eager... * Heero thought.  
  
"You look thirsty," Kent said when he had finished. "Can I get you something to drink?"  
  
"Ummm..." the Japanese boy began, but it was hard to talk because the brownie was sort of stuck in his throat. It didn't matter anyhow, because Kent had vanished already. He returned a moment later with a plastic cup of something red and sort of thick. Heero took it without asking questions though, and drained it in three gulps.  
  
Fire chased the cloying sweetness of the brownie away, and Heero resisted the urge to gag. Kent's eyebrows were raised.  
  
"What the hell was in that?" Heero asked, barely able to retain his falsetto and grimacing at the burning feeling in his belly.  
  
"Derrik's Sweeeeet Lovin'," Kent said proudly. "I've never seen anyone chug it so fast!"  
  
"Derrik's Sweet Loving?" Heero repeated skeptically.  
  
"No, Derrik's Sweeeeet Lovin'. My compadre Derrik made his own special blend for this party, so you know it has to be good," Kent explained with a big grin.  
  
"Hn," Heero replied.  
  
The other boy snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah! I forgot. I brought a special treat for you, seeing as how it's your first party here and all."  
  
"A treat?" Heero asked warily, as Kent dug in his pockets and took out a small metal something and a sack of crispy brownish-green leaves. "Is that... marijauna?"  
  
"You know it, babe," Kent said, already deftly packing a bowl in his pipe. "What's the matter? Never had it before?"  
  
"Er..." Heero said, then decided it really didn't matter if he lied. "Yeah. I just wasn't expecting it around here."  
  
Kent stuck the pipe in his mouth and lit it. "So you didn't know it was in the brownie?"  
  
The boy in drag felt his jaw drop slightly. There'd been mind-altering drugs in the food? But he'd been there when they cooked it this morning! He hadn't seen any suspicious herbs lurking around the kitchenette, and marijauna had definately ~not~ been into the recipe. But then, Kent ~had~ been oddly protective of the pan of brownies. He probably slipped some in when Heero and the girls hadn't been looking. Heero kicked himself mentally for trusting ~anything~ Kent gave him to eat or drink. That was ~two~ ways Heero had been stupid tonight, and the party was just starting!  
  
Kent held the hit in as he offered the pipe to Heero.  
  
"Uh, no thanks. I've already had a whole brownie and - " he tried to refuse, but Kent suddenly swooped in and covered Heero's lips with his own. It felt... icky. Heero gasped in shock. Kent took this as an invitation and exhaled into his mouth. Bittersweet smoke invaded Heero's lungs, and he panicked. He shoved Kent away from him.  
  
The blond boy staggered back, but he was laughing as Heero began coughing the smoke out.   
  
"How'd you like that?" he asked smarmily. "Bet it's more than Duo ever did with you."  
  
Heero tried to pull himself together, but the smoke had made him dizzy and fuzzy-feeling. Or maybe it was the alcohol and drugged brownie in his belly, or a combination of everything. While he tried to get his bearings, Kent had taken another hit and took advantage of Heero's confusion and momentary weakness to pin him against the wall and press another unwanted kiss against his lips.  
  
"Stop it," Heero tried to say, but Kent's mouth swallowed the words. Smoke invaded his lungs again before he could think to stop it. Kent's slimy lips slid on and over Heero's, and the Japanese boy felt sick. He tried to get his arms to push Kent away, but they seemed heavy and clumsy. They didn't obey his commands.  
  
* What's ~wrong~ with me! I need to get free, get away! Move, damn you! * he thought furiously at his leaden limbs, but all he could do was feebly beat his hands against Kent's chest.  
  
Kent seemed to have no trouble with his body, though, and grabbed Heero's arms to keep them from moving. All the strength Heero knew he possessed seemed to have deserted him, or at least was inaccessible. He squirmed futilely in Kent's grip, biting Kent's lips hard in an attempt to get him to stop. His head was starting to swim from lack of oxygen. Then Kent abruptly wasn't filling his vision anymore, and he bent over double coughing and gasping.  
  
"Just what the ~fuck~ do you think you're doing, man?" demanded an extremely pissed-off voice that Heero instantly recognized, and was torn between relief and extreme humiliation.  
  
"Hey, man, Hee-chan's not your chick anymore, so fuck off!" Kent snarled.  
  
Heero glanced up cautiously. Duo was giving Kent the most poisonous angry glare he'd ever seen on the braided boy.   
  
"Heero, are you all right?" the American asked, not taking his eyes from Kent's. Heero glanced fleetingly over to Kent, then nodded once. Duo pressed his lips together in a frown, then stepped forward to loom over to Kent - which was some feat, considering Duo was three inches shorter than the blonde.  
  
"Heh-heh," Kent said nervously, finally feeling the full impact of Duo's glare. "I just wanted to share my weed with Hee-chan, is all."  
  
Duo looked him over coldly once, then began to turn away. Kent relaxed a bit, but just as he did, Duo whirled and slammed his fist into the boy's face. Kent dropped his pipe and clutched his nose, staggering back against the wall.   
  
"Shit!" he cried out.  
  
"Don't you ~touch~ Heero again, man. Next time, I won't be so gentle," Duo said coldly. He grabbed Heero's arm. "C'mon, Heero."  
  
Heero allowed his fellow gundam pilot to pull him into the throng of high-schoolers. He glanced back at Kent, who was on his hands and knees to search for his pipe. Pathetic. Which made Heero think how pathetic ~he~ must be, to not be able to fight him off. He wished his head would stop swimming, that he didn't feel so fuzzy-brained.  
  
He stumbled on a discarded beer bottle and let go of Duo's hand to gain his balance. Suddenly, he was flat on his back with his legs and arms sprawled awkwardly about. He couldn't get his bearings, either. The room spun, the people around him moved fast in time to the beat, and then Duo's upside-down face hovered a few feet above his. Duo looked alarmed and concerned.  
  
"Heero?" he said. "Daijoubu ka?"  
  
Heero couldn't respond. He was too busy noticing strange things, like how Duo's braid spilt over his shoulder, or how sultry Duo looked in his loose, deep red shirt that shimmered in the lights of the party. He also noticed that Duo's eyes were an intoxicating shade of indigo. The only thing he couldn't figure out is why there were two sets of them...  
  
  
  
  
TBC...  
  
  
  
Part two, Coming right up!  
  
Eros: Yay!  
  
Psyche: ::pouting:: What about my angst?  
  
It's coming, dearie. Just be patient.  
  
Eros: RRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!  



	7. Party Night (b)

Author's Note: Oopsies...^^;;;;; You know what I just realized?  
  
Psyche: What?  
  
I can't count. The last three chapters are labeled Chapter Five. ^^;;;;;;;;  
  
Eros: ::smacking forehead:: Ye gods, what an idiot...  
  
I'm not an idiot! I'm just mathematically challenged. I'll fix them someday...  
  
Thalia: Kiddies beware! Sexuality in this! Thanks to hentai Eros. If it wasn't for the fact that he has a girlfriend, I'd suspect him of liking yaoi...  
  
Eros: ...Er... ^^;;;; No comment.  
  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own GW. So sue me. Oh, wait. I meant, ~don't~ sue me.  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter Five (one of them, anyway -_-;;;)  
  
Part Two: Party Night (Ha! Get it?)   
  
  
  
  
  
Duo frowned worriedly down at Heero, who was staring glassy-eyed back at him. Shit, what had happened? He'd seen Kent get the brownie and the cup of hard liquor, and from the way Heero was now acting, it seemed obvious where both had gone. Add this to the weed Kent had blown down Heero's throat... He clenched his jaw muscles, the image of Kent kissing Heero burning in his brain. It filled him with anger and loathing at the smarmy boy, pity for Heero, and even a sense of guilt. After all, if it hadn't been for ~his~ dare, Heero wouldn't be in this position.  
  
It had been a lucky thing that a girl had dragged him onto the dance floor shortly after Kent had disappeared into the crowd. He saw the boy darting behind the speakers and just ~had~ to see what was going on. By the time he got to the speakers, Kent was restraining Heero's arms and pressing him against the wall, plastering a disgusting sloppy kiss against a squirming Heero's lips.  
  
"Heero, come on, get up," Duo said, tugging on the Japanese boy's arms.  
  
"I... don't know if I can," he replied, almost too quietly to be heard over the music. He blinked slowly, deliberately.  
  
* Shit! How much did he have? Did Kent put anything in his drink? * Duo's frown deepened. Were date-rape drugs popular at this school? GHB would be easy enough to get, if what Kent had said about their dealer was true.  
  
"Just lean on me, okay?" he said to Heero, who nodded dazedly.  
  
Duo pulled him to his feet, draping one of Heero's toned but limp arms over his own shoulders. No one on the dance floor even gave them a second glance. Apparently collapses such as Heero's were common at these parties. Duo made his way to the door, which was hard to do because of the press of bodies flowing in the opposite direction. They hadn't even gotten half way when someone grabbed Duo's shoulder and spun him around.  
  
Lucy and several of her friends were standing in confrontational stances, glaring accusing from Heero's doped-up countenance to Duo's nonplused expression. From the flush gracing Lucy's cheeks, it was obvious that she'd already had something too drink. She glowered at Duo, but on her the deadly look seemed more seductive than truly angry.  
  
"What do you think you're doing? What happened to Hee-chan?" she demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.  
  
"Yeah, what'd you do to her?" one of the girls added.  
  
"Yeah!" chorused the others.  
  
Duo resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "I didn't do anything to her. If you wanna know what happened, go find Kent and ask him if he put anything in Heero's drink."  
  
Lucy gazed at him suspiciously. "Kent?"  
  
"Yeah, Kent, that bastard. I caught him slobbering over Hee-chan," Duo sneered, not even needing to fake the venom in his tone. "Hee-chan didn't want him to, so I helped out a bit."  
  
"I see," Lucy said, her protective fangs retracting. She bit her lip. "Is Hee-chan... okay?"  
  
"As far as I can tell. But she's kinda out of it, so I was going to get her out of here," Duo explained.   
  
"I'll help," Lucy said, stepping forward, taking Heero's other arm and pulling over her shoulders. "We'll put her in bed."  
  
"M'okay. Lemme alone," Heero slurred.  
  
"In a bit, Hee-chan," Duo said as they continued on their way to the door.  
  
  
  
  
Out in the hall where the air freshened and the music subsided to just a dull throbbing, Lucy fanned Heero, who leaned heavily against Duo. His head swam and his stomach churned unhappily at the combination of alcohol and tainted brownie. Not to mention how utterly embarrassed he was now. Duo had seen him in such an utterly weak position, and the situation right now was not better.   
  
"How ya doin', Heero?" Duo asked, and Heero felt his voice rumble through his chest.  
  
"M' fine," he insisted, though he knew it wasn't true. He just wanted them to leave him alone so he could crawl back to his room in peace.  
  
"Quit fibbing," Lucy said primly. "Any idiot could see you're not fine. Why don't we go back up to your room?"  
  
Even intoxicated as he was, Heero knew that leaving now would blow the mission. He started to shake his head but reconsidered the action when the world threatened to flip upside-down.  
  
"No, I wanna stay," he said, wincing at the almost pouting note in his voice.  
  
"Stay? You can hardly stand," Lucy countered sternly.  
  
"I dunno, Luce," Duo broke in. "I mean, this ~is~ the first party we've been to here. I bet Hee-chan wants to make the rounds before she goes. Right, Heero?"  
  
"Aa... uh-huh," Heero agreed, blinking through the dim light to see how the argument faired. From the look on Lucy's face, not well.  
  
"C'mon. If we keep her with us and don't let her drink anything else, I'm sure she'll shake it off pretty quickly. You shoulda seen her back at our old school; she was a real party animal," Duo invented wildly.  
  
Lucy bit her lower lip. Heero tried to look pleading, which he'd never tried to do before. Apparently the effect was either very successful or just bloody unnerving because Lucy gave a defeated sigh.  
  
"All right," she capitulated. "But you two have to stay with me."  
  
"Okay," Duo agreed.  
  
After a few more minutes of resting, Heero felt slightly less sickened by everything, and the group headed back inside to the party. The bubbly dance music welled up around him like a living thing, and he caught Duo looking at him strangely.   
  
"What?" he shouted over the music.  
  
"Heero, are you... dancing?"  
  
Heero frowned and realized that he had indeed been swaying in time with the fast beat. He stopped immediately. "No."  
  
Duo blinked at him and tilted his head, the beginnings of a grin on his face. He leaned in closer to Heero's ear to talk quietly enough for Lucy not to hear. "Have you ever danced before?"  
  
Heero crossed his arms and glared. "No."  
  
"If you want to try, you can. I can keep watch while you're on the dance floor," Duo offered.  
  
"No."  
  
"What're you two whispering about back there?" Lucy shouted at them, backtracking the couple of steps she'd gone after they'd stopped.  
  
"Nothing," Heero said, but Duo over-rode him with sheer volume.  
  
"Hee-chan was just telling me she'd like to go dance. The trouble is, she's nervous. Would you show her the ropes, Lucy-chan?" Duo asked. To his surprise, Lucy just laughed.  
  
"Baka!" she said, chuckling. "~You're~ a better dancer than ~I~ am, plus you're her boyfriend. If anyone should show her the ropes on the dance floor, it's you. Get going, you two, and dazzle all us Ruffies with your mad dancing skillz."  
  
Duo's jaw dropped open. How had he not seen this coming? He tried to will himself not to blush and glanced at Heero, who just blinked at him.  
  
"I dunno, I mean, Heero's balance is pretty bad with her being this under the influence and all - " Duo began to back out.  
  
"Oh no, you're not getting out of this that easily," Lucy said, grinning from ear to ear as she pushed the two pilots towards each other and the dance floor. "You just got back together; you've got to do something romantic to cement your reunion."  
  
With one final shove, Duo and Heero were in the midst of the gyrating throng of high-schoolers.  
  
"Um," Duo said, at a loss. He looked at his partner, who was once again swaying his shoulders and hips to the beat. He looked like an idiot. "Oh, hell. Heero, you're going to learn to dance."  
  
"I am?"  
  
"Yeah. Here, do this to start," Duo said, performing a movement for an example. Heero watched for a moment, then tried to mimic it. "No, that's too jerky. You have to be smooth. Muscle control, Heero. You know 'bout that."  
  
Heero tried again, but it was if anything worse than the first attempt. Duo sighed and rubbed his forehead with one hand.  
  
"All right, that's... um... Just watch me, okay?" Duo said, and began to dance, hips swaying, shoulders following. He felt his whole body melt into the music. After a moment, he stopped. "Now you try."  
  
Heero tried. It was so horrible a few of the other kids stopped to watch with skeptical looks on their faces. Duo flushed and grabbed Heero's twitching hips to get him to stop. Heero looked at him with an almost... innocent expression. Oh God. Duo suddenly realized how close they were. He swallowed nervously.  
  
"Okay, that was bad," he said. "Um. Just, uh, move your hips like this." He guided Heero's body with his hands carefully, in time to the beat. "Feel that? Get it now?"   
  
"Aa..." Heero breathed. He felt lightheaded and hot, but it seemed somehow different from the drugs coursing through his system.  
  
He could feel Duo's breath on his cheek, but unlike when Kent had breathed on him, he didn't feel nauseated or even claustrophobic. Was this... trust? He trusted Duo? Yes, he guessed he did. The American's hands still gripped his hips, pushing him side to side in fluid motion. Heero realized that Duo was moving, too. They were dancing. Together.  
  
... and he was enjoying it...  
  
"Stop it," he snapped, jerking away.  
  
"Sorry," Duo said hurriedly, feeling his face heat. "Guess I got caught in the music."  
  
"You can wait for the agent here. I need... to go," Heero said in a rush, then turned and ran towards the door.  
  
"Shit!," Duo cursed. "Heero, wait!"  
  
Of course, he didn't listen. He had to get out of there ~right now,~ had to get away from the weird tingly feelings down his spine and the heat he'd felt through his skirt where Duo'd held him. He ran blindly, though, too high to see where he was going in the dark. So intent on just running, he didn't see the other person until he'd plowed into them.  
  
"Itai!" the feminine form cried out as the both staggered to retain their balance. Heero peered into the darkness.   
  
"Makoko?" He recognized the pudgy girl.  
  
"Yeah. Heero, right?" she asked.  
  
"Aa. Sumimasen," he apologized.  
  
"It's all right. I'm not hurt. Are you coming back from the party?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You're drunk?"  
  
"...Probably."  
  
The girl sighed. "Let me help you back to your room. These halls can be... dangerous when you're alone at night."  
  
Heero felt his eyes widen at that. How could the halls be dangerous? Did the students commit crimes at night? Or was it even more sinister? OZ operatives creeping around and kidnaping students to brainwash? He was almost tempted to stick around and find out. Only the facts that he was as good as incapacitated and weaponless kept him from doing so.  
  
Makoko guided him back up to the third floor dorm and finally to his room. She eyed the CD player on the nightstand.  
  
"Have you been using that?" she asked.  
  
"I did last night," he replied.  
  
"And?"  
  
"And what?" Heero frowned, his brain working slower than usual. She knew about the CD player and that he was supposed to use it. Either she was the informant or she was a spy.  
  
"Did it help?"  
  
"Help with what?"  
  
Makoko rolled her heavily make-upped eyes. "Did you feel particularly girly this morning? Like you wanted to wear something pretty and bake cookies for your boyfriend?"  
  
Heero concentrated. "No."  
  
Makoko relaxed. "Good. Then it worked. I have another one you should give to Duo. Otherwise he'll start acting like a brainless macho jock. You know, like he wants to go play a team sport and scratch himself in front of others."  
  
Heero was now thoroughly confused. "Huh?"  
  
The goth girl looked him in the eye. "Romafeller has been brainwashing the students here using subliminal messaging while they sleep. They've been using us like a sociological experiment, seeing how best to control large groups of people while keeping everyone from knowing they're being controlled. Unless you block out the messages somehow, no matter what conditioning you've had, you'll break after a few months."  
  
"How do you know all this?" Heero asked, fairly certain he was talking to the informant. But just in case it was a trap, he edged toward where he'd hidden a handgun complete with silencer.  
  
"I was hired by the resistance to find out. Unfortunately, the headmistress discovered me a couple weeks ago. Ordered me sent to the hospital wing for 'Special Care,'" the girl explained with a painful grin.  
  
"They brainwashed you?" Heero demanded, eyes narrowing. "I thought you tried to commit suicide."  
  
"Is that what they told the school? Well, it would explain a lot of things, I suppose. If anyone noticed these - " she held up her arms to show him many deep knife cuts in each " - they'd just assume."  
  
"OZ did that to you?" Heero asked, eyeing the cuts. He knew that Romafeller and OZ were full of sick people who wouldn't stop at torture, but when he saw that even a relatively innocent young girl was not safe from them, his stomach twisted.  
  
"No. I did it to myself," she said, almost defensively, crossing her scarred arms to her chest.  
  
"Why?" Heero asked quietly.  
  
"I told you, you have to block the brainwashing with something. Pain works. Pain keeps you real. You never forget yourself when you're in enough pain," she murmured darkly, almost to herself.  
  
"Self-torture? Sounds like hazy logic to me," he said.  
  
She gave a stiff bark of laughter. "Logic has nothing to do with it. Of course I know that pain inflicted by others with break you as surely as brainwashing. But when you do it to yourself... it's a release. It's control over yourself. They can't take your pain from you if you don't let them."  
  
Heero refrained from answering, feeling more than a little out of his depth. This night was getting way to surreal for him. First Kent, then Duo, now Makoko. Were there no sane people left to help him complete the mission?  
  
"Do you have the information relevant to resistance?" he asked point-blank, sick of putting up with all the weirdness. He just wanted this mission completed.  
  
"Yes. It's in a safe place. We have to wait, though. I can't get to it for another week."  
  
Heero bristled. "Why?"  
  
"You think I would be stupid enough to have it with me here, where a random room search could turn it up? Speaking of which, I suggest you find safer places to keep your weapons. I mean, really. Under the pillows? Isn't that a little cliche?"  
  
Heero ignored the taunt but knew when to take advice. "What is in a week that will allow you to get the information?"  
  
"Homecoming Ball. We all get to go shopping for formal clothes as a school-sponsored field trip. I can get away and get the encoded disks. One week. Just make sure you and your boyfriend wear your headphones to bed and you'll be fine," she said, then yawned widely.  
  
"It's getting late. We should probably get to sleep," Heero said.  
  
"True. I'll contact you. Don't contact me, though. The less you're seen with me, the safer you and your friends will be," she said.  
  
"Ryoukai."  
  
"Good night, Heero-kun."  
  
"Good night."  
  
It wasn't until Makoko had been gone some time and Heero was in his nightgown that he realized she'd called him "kun" instead of "chan."  
  
"Shit."  
  
  
  
  
TBC!!  
  
  
  
  
::grins proudly:: Lookee lookee! Plot hath emerged! And angst, too!  
  
Psyche: *^_______^* Yay!  
  
Thalia: 9_9 Oh ye gods. She's going to be unbearable for days now.  
  
Eros: I'm just glad Heero and Duo had more going on than just innuendo.  
  
Me, too. ^_^  
  
Eros: RRRRRREEEEEEEEVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWW!!!!! 


End file.
